I was recently asked by a national print publication about my thoughts about sexual intimacy and intensifying orgasms and I wanted to share a few tips with you to help you “get there,” whether you’re with your significant other or by yourself.
Too often, we become so fixated on having a mind blowing, earth shattering, toe-curling orgasm that we forget how nice it can be to be teased, touched, enticed, caressed, taken, enthralled, and compelled sexually.
Sure, chandelier-hanging sex “til the cops come knockin” is cool, but for many people, the challenge of reaching orgasmic ecstasy remains elusive.
Have you ever tried tantic sex?
Tantra is a style of meditation and ritual credited to an ancient Hindu practice over 6,000 years ago, and its basis is rooted in connecting with the divine through the use of spiritual energy. It literally means “the weaving and expansion of energy.” In the case of tantric sex, sexual energy is used to not only come into complete unity with a beloved but to also draw closer to a higher power.
Tantric sex isn’t necessarily about reaching an orgasm. The goal is to experience more depth in sexuality and to enrich the whole sexual experience. Tantric sex, unlike traditional lovemaking, doesn’t have a beginning or an end and does not necessarily involve actual intercourse.
The entire tantric experience is a song and dance between both partners that involves extended foreplay built upon intimacy, meditation and unity. There is no particular goal in tantric sex. Instead, the focus is to enjoy exquisite unity during sexual expression. Tantric sex teaches couples how to extend their moments of sexual ecstasy to experience multiple orgasms in one sexual experience.
Imagine being able to feel those euphoric moments over and over in the period of 30 minutes. Tantric sex allows couples to become multi-orgasmic and to use sex as a form of manifestation to not only improve their relationship but each individual’s overall health.
So how does one go about participating in tantric sex? It’s more simple than you think.
1. Be present.
Be “in the moment” and try not to think about work, kids, bills, or the challenges of life. Focus on what feels pleasurable for you. One way to do this is to set the mood: maybe your thing is candles, incense or music. Whatever it is you need to get your mind right, do it.
2. Be patient.
Trying to rush your climax may only delay it from happening. It’s going to happen if you let it. Give yourself as much time as you want to enjoy being sexy for yourself and/or for your partner.
3. Use a friction position.
A friction position may help you have an orgasm during intercourse. Get on top, for example, so the top of your clitoris is rubbing directly on your partner’s pubic bone. Or lay on your back with a pillow underneath your butt.
4. Use “those” muscles.
Kegels are the classic exercise for women who want to transform feeble orgasms into fabulous ones. Locate these muscles in your pelvic floor by stopping yourself from peeing midstream. Then…