My Story: “Have The Courage To Tell”
Rape and molestation are horrible crimes. And one of the most sickening facts about both of them is that many victims are violated by those who they know or someone close to them like family and friends.
Take Kristal for example. She was molested by her step dad when she just eight years old. But when she told her mom, she got the most unthinkable response. Here’s how it happened in Kristal’s own words:
I was molested by my mothers step dad when I was around 8. I knew it was wrong so I had the courage to go straight to my mother. That’s when I learned that I wasn’t the first of his victims, yet she told me not to speak about it. She begged me not to tell my father because he was just being released from prison & she never went to the police because she worried about keeping the family together.
I kept quiet, but it was always awkward because I felt on the outside looking in on all of the “make believe” interactions. Keeping quiet also led him to continue to come after me & when I became a teenager he started trying to bribe me into letting him do things.
I promised myself for years that I’d speak about it, but I learned that timing was everything. I knew for a fact that confronting him as well as the steps I decided to take towards healing would endure more negative than positive. I knew I’d lose some phony family & I had to grow to become completely fine with it, knowing I’d make room for healthier relationships. My family has enabled & protected this monster for far too long & many still don’t want the truth exposed in effort to protect the “perfect family” image. This secret is too dark & has affected too many young lives. I don’t care how anybody feels about the hidden truth or if they choose not to speak to me because of it. But for my family to HATE me, SLANDER my name, MISTREAT my mother & take It on my children is dead wrong.
Kristal goes on to pen a letter to her abuser:
All these years later those memories of betrayal still bring tears to my eyes because I remember so clearly like it was only yesterday. I remember the very first time, I woke up thinking something was crawling in my panties & there you were lying on the side of the bed like I couldn’t see you so I rolled over & balled up under the cover until you left.
I remember all the times I dodged being alone with you. I remember the time the whole family was over for a gathering & I went inside to make a plate & you came up while I was sitting at the bar rubbing on my undeveloped breast & told me to shush.
I remember you trying to bribe me with your money to let you do things to me. And even worse, I remember telling my mom & as much as she told me she knew it was true because of the things you’d done to her & her sisters, her first response was, “please don’t tell your dad”.
Those words & the look on her face left me so confused, disturbed & alone. Yes, I know too many disgusting stories about things that you’ve done long before me. Having sex with your biological daughters, fondling your step daughters, having sex with your wife’s nieces & cousins. Oh let’s not forget knocking up your 12 year old daughter.
My mom was supposed to protect me & not only did she not even try, but she kept me around you knowing how you were. For years I’ve held so much hatred towards my mother for allowing history to repeat itself. I’ve questioned God, asking how she could possibly love me, asking why she let it go so easily, asking…