11 Signs You’ve Outgrown Your Man

african american man holding broken heartMaybe you’ve felt it before, a change in intensity, a drifting away, love that has unfortunately faded. One’s age, maturity, persona and circumstances are all factors that affect one’s relationship, and there are times when the person you thought was the love of your life ends up the stranger who shares your bed at night.

Though it’s difficult, you may eventually come to realize that though love is forever, a relationship sometimes isn’t. Here are a few signs that you’ve probably outgrown your man:

1. Don’t fool yourself. Straight up, you’re just not very compatible.

If your lover’s dream is to drop out and become self-sufficient on a farm somewhere, and you’re a city person with ambitions, one of you is going to be seriously unhappy if you stay together. Or, if you always want to go out and he always wants to stay home, look for someone whose social style is closer to yours.

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2. Be honest…he isn’t even close to your fantasy.

If you’re a longtime luckless single, you may be tempted to stay with someone just because they’re available and willing, but don’t do it. He has to turn you on somewhat; there has to be some chemistry and some future.

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3. You just can’t bring yourself to say “I love you,” as much anymore.

Even if there’s chemistry, if you can’t express your love for your man with affectionate gestures, nurturing, and the magic words, “I love you,” your satisfaction with them has definitely waned.

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4. He isn’t there when you need him.

If you’ve been dating for more than six months and you can’t count on him to come and get you if your car breaks down, or to be your date for New Year’s Eve, or even to feed your cats when you’re away on a business trip, then you don’t have a solid relationship.

5. Out of fear, you hold back self-expression.

Being in love should bring out the best in you. It should help you be less self-conscious and make you more open and alive. If instead, you worry that you’ll upset the applecart if you say what you think, or if you’re afraid that the least little thing will destroy the delicate balance you’ve achieved, or if you feel like you’re walking on eggs all the time, please get out now.

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6. Your self-esteem isn’t up to par.

If your relationship is demeaning, makes you feel bad about yourself, leaves you feeling like you’re never listened to, and you’re getting more criticism than praise, then it’s time to get out. A good relationship makes you feel respected and loved, worthwhile and good about yourself. Even if you think you’re being overly sensitive, you’re probably not.

7. If he’s creeping.

Cheaters usually leave track records behind them. If you discover your man has that kind of history, don’t believe “never again.” The heartache and torment will never end. And in the age of AIDS, any kind of a sex life with an unfaithful mate means condoms forever. Who needs this? Surely, not you.

9. The same problems keep happening.

Nothing’s worse than going over the same thing, again, and again, and again. If you’ve broken up and gotten back together, and you’re still having the same fights, the same problems or different versions of the same problem, especially if you’ve tried relationship counseling, then move on and find someone else.

10. You feel like you can’t breathe.

The relationship seems to have stalled, and you feel like you “Want time,” or “Want space,” or “Want to date,” or “You need to devote yourself to your career.” Almost always, what you really mean is, “I want out.” These things happen. Don’t drag it out.

11. There just isn’t any progress.

Relationships have a natural progression. If you’re not progressing and you can’t pinpoint the cause, you might want to try relationship counseling. However, if he or she won’t go, and things don’t improve, the relationship is coming to an end. Again, these things happen. Don’t drag it out.

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