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Choices and Consequences
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Life will throw you curve balls. It is a part of life’s learning process to help you identify and measure your personal evolution along the way. No matter what experience you may encounter, remember that you always have a choice about the way in which you choose to respond to it. If you become angry, that is your choice. If you lash out, that is your choice. If you allow yourself to become hurt or offended, that is your choice. And if you take the experience in stride and continue to press forward? You guessed it - that too, is your choice.
It is through these choices that your life will take its shape. Each time you make a choice, you automatically accept the consequences, both positive and negative that comes with that choice. If you are happy with the direction that your life is moving in, continue to press on at a pace that will continue to move you forward, but also allows you to see & adapt to the road ahead. If you are unhappy with your course, know that you are in the driver’s seat and that you can choose to slow down, accelerate, put on the brakes or change course at any time you choose to do so.
Life is a journey, not a destination. The moment you “arrive’ will be the very moment in which you discover that there is somewhere else yet to go. To lose control over your journey is to lose yourself. If you get lost along the way, don’t be afraid, ashamed, embarrassed or too prideful to pull over and ask for help. Remember: there is always a road map that will lead you to where it is that you are trying to go.
Hoping to get to a destination blindly is simply that – hoping blindly. However, charting a course and putting provisions in place almost always ensures a completely different kind of journey. Both are choices. The question is: which path are you currently choosing? No matter the road, I wish you safe travels along the way. Chart your course, prepare for your journey, and ALWAYS follow the signs.
May you find peace & blessings along your way…
Spirit
Food for Thought: “Where God provides a vision, He also provides a provision.”
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Q & A with Spirit, BlackDoctor.org Mental Health Expert
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Question: I have been on several medicines for depression and all seem to fail after 2 months. At that point I have to either go to the highest strength or change to a different medicine. Suggestion? I'm in pain.
Answer: First and foremost, please know that you’re not alone. Establishing a new medication regimen can be both frustrating and down right uncomfortable in the beginning. In fact, many people simply give up without ever achieving any real relief from their depressive symptoms.
It is not uncommon for an individual to have to try a variety of antidepressants or medication combinations before finding the one that works best for them. Some medications can take up to as long as 8 weeks to reach their full therapeutic potential. Because of this, you may feel like the medications are working in the beginning and then without warning, your depressive symptoms come back. This is why it is so important to not only work closely with your doctor when beginning any new medication, but to also attend all of your scheduled follow-up visits (also known as medication management) as well. During these appointments, be sure to tell your doctor about the successes and failures that you are having with each medicine that you try. You may want to keep a journal to jot down how you are feeling in between your medical appointments. This might assist your doctor in determining which medication regimen may be best for you. Whatever you do, don’t stop taking the medications without discussing with your doctor how to safely discontinue them.
In all, there are more than two dozen medications for you and your doctor to choose from. If you have not yet found a medication that you are satisfied with, you may want to talk to your doctor about switching to a different family of medications. The most popular types of medications currently being utilized to treat depression include: tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs), monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs), selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs). Common side effects for most of these medications include dry mouth, fatigue/insomnia, headaches, constipation and decreased sexual functioning. In addition, when taking MAOIs, certain foods and beverages must also be avoided. These include a variety of dairy and canned food products, fruits (like bananas and avocadoes) and as with most all medications, the use of alcoholic beverages is strictly prohibited.
You may also want to consider incorporating psychotherapy (also referred to as “talk therapy,” counseling, and sometimes, life coaching) into your treatment regimen if you have not yet done so already. Certain types of therapy in combination with antidepressant medication can be extremely effective in treating depression. Therapy strategies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Interpersonal Therapy are widely recommended to help treat depression because they help the individual to get to the root of what is causing or increasing their feelings of depression. They also assist the individual in developing new coping strategies and ways of interacting in their daily lives.
Lastly, make sure that you solicit support from your family and friends as you attempt to work through your feelings of depression. Talk to them about the difficulties that you are having in your efforts to find a medication that works for you. All too often when we are depressed, we shut out the people who care about us the most. Friends and family can be a wonderful source in providing emotional support, assisting you in maintaining some of the daily responsibilities that you may find difficult to perform as a result of your depressed feelings, and in helping you make sure that you follow your doctor’s orders. Also, look for ways to cut extra stressors out of your life until you begin to feel better. If you can delegate some of your more demanding tasks and responsibilities while you are trying to find a medication that works, that alone may do wonders to relieve some of your physical and emotional discomfort. Above all, don’t give up. Depression is a disease that you can overcome. The key to your success is simply finding the regimen that is right for you. I wish you nothing but the best.
Peace & Blessings,
Spirit |
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Q & A With Spirit, BlackDoctor.org Mental Health Expert
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Question: Spirit,
I could use some constructive advice if you could help. I have a 7 month old baby boy. I have tried to stick with his mom on the strength of him. She does not have any goals our dreams. I manage a corporate business and have dreams of being a billionaire by age 40, 28 currently. She is stuck in a hood mentality and think that that's all there is to life. Constant arguments and confusion since and before my sons' birth. I do not want him to grow up like I did without a father, or have some guy thats not any good for him teaching him how to be a man. I feel so drained and weak I dont know where to turn.
Signed,
Black Dr. Reader
Answer: Dear Black Doctor Reader,
Staying together for the sake of your child is the equivalent to putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound - you'll never make it. Even if you do, what would be the point? You'll sacrifice years of your life being miserable while at the same time teaching your son that it is OK for him to commit himself to a woman that he doesn't really love simply because they've created a life together. Is that what you want for him? Of course not. You want him to live a good life full of love, success and happiness. You will be his greatest example of that, so don't continue to make a series of bad choices going forward simply because you made several bad choices already ( i.e. becoming sexually involved with a woman you knew wasn't on the same page as you, not taking the necessary precautions to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, putting yourself at risk for STDs including HIV/AIDS by not practicing the safest sex possible, etc.).
Your focus now needs to be on acknowledging and addressing the areas in which you & your partner are most incompatible and trying to determine if the two of you have BOTH the desire and the capability to meet one another's needs - not trying to figure out how to cope with being miserable in a bad situation with a woman that you don't love for the next 18 years (or longer if the two of you create another child(ren) along the way). Both of you deserve to be loved and happy, even if it's not by one another.
You mention "constant arguments"...what are these arguments centered around? The goal is to work toward the RESOLUTION of these issues rather than to simply stop arguing for the time being. You also say she has no goals or dreams - not true! Everyone has a desire for their future - hers just may not be in line with yours. This is an area that may warrant being explored in either couple's counseling, with a member of the clergy or with a good life coach (like myself). I'd be more than happy to work with you as an individual or the both of you as a couple to help you arrive at the best decision possible for the family that the two of you have created. Contact me further to discuss. I wish you and your family nothing but the very best.
Spirit
To ask Spirit a question, email us today at healtheditor@blackdoctor.org.
www.myspace.com/talk2spirit
www.talk2spirit.com
Editor-In-Chief, KRAVE Magazine, www.kravemagazine.net
Mental Health & Wellness Expert, www.blackdoctor.org
Listen to "Talking with Spirit" every Friday from 6p-7p on News & Talk Radio 1380 WAOK or by streaming live at www.waok.com
To contact Spirit for confidential life coaching services, motivational speaking or related events call (404) 914-4782 or email talk2spirit@gmail.com.
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