6 Ways Women Can Enjoy Sex More

African American Black woman laying in bed underwear

Men tend to get most of the blame when it comes to women’s sexual satisfaction. True, it wouldn’t hurt for some men to learn more about a woman’s body for a deeper understanding of what turns a woman on.

But top sex and relationship experts say that women’s typical sex behavior definitely has some room for improvement, too.

So here are some of the top things women can and should do to get more of the satisfaction they so rightly deserve.

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1. Initiate Sex With Your Partner

Many women worry about ladylike behavior. They fear seeming too aggressive, or being viewed negatively for seeming to like sex a little too much. But according to Les Parrot, professor of psychology at Seattle Pacific University and author of a new book called Crazy Good Sex, failing to initiate sex is one of the biggest mistakes women make.

“Most guys feel like they are always the initiator and that sets up disequilibrium on the passion scale in the relationship,” he says.  Generally, men want to be pursued by their partners just as much as women do.

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Holding onto outdated ideas about sex roles also inhibits satisfaction with our sexual relationships, says “Dr. Ruth,” aka Ruth Westheimer, PhD, a psychosexual therapist, professor at New York University, and lecturer at Yale and Princeton universities. “They used to think that women are less interested in sexual activity and I don’t want to say that anymore. I think there are women who are as interested in sex as men.”

Show your interest by taking the first step from time to time.  Your partner will likely appreciate it, and you may find a new level of satisfaction in taking responsibility for your sexual experience, something Westheimer feels strongly women must do.

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2. Stop Worrying About What You Look Like

Thinking about how you look during sex stops you from enjoying yourself and ruins your chances of achieving an orgasm.

“Don’t think about the fat on your belly or the makeup on your face,” advises Westheimer.  “Concentrate on the pleasure of the act.  You must give yourself permission to have an orgasm.”

“Men want women to abandon themselves in sex play, and that’s not likely if she is anxious about her physical concerns,” Parrott says.

Helen Fisher, PhD, a cultural anthropologist at Rutgers University and author of a new book called Why Him, Why Her, says men don’t notice half the things women obsess about anyway.

“It’s amazing what men don’t notice. Men are much more attracted to women who show signs of health. Rather than worry about the shape of your waist and hips, worry about your energy level and enthusiasm and interest in him,” Fisher advises.

READ: 10 Things Sexually Responsible People Do

3. Don’t Assume That All Men Want Is Casual Sex

Westheimer believes women should all let go of old-fashioned notions, such as women are not sexual or that sex is just sex to men.  “For some men, sex is…