“Help! My Husband Says I’m Boring In Bed”
Why does he think you’re boring?
One mistake many women make is not asking the hard hitting questions when complaints are raised about their sexual performance. Before seeking out sources to help with improvement, the issues must first be brought to the surface. Knowing exactly what her husband perceives as lackluster or boring about her sexual expression will give his wife an idea of the areas that need to be enhanced or corrected. It may be a tough pill to swallow, but asking him to elaborate on what he is feeling is the only way to fully understand his point of view.
What are your typical actions in bed?
It is easy to shift into ego when one’s character seems to come under fire, so instead of reacting to what may be perceived as an attack it is best to take a step back and be honest with yourself about the typical actions that are performed during sex. Do you initiate the sex or are you submissive in your approach? Are you vocal during sex or are you as silent as a church mouse? Do you switch up sex positions or do you revert to old faithfuls? These types of questions need to be answered.
What’s holding you back?
Everyone has the capability to have amazing sex and to have fun while in the moment, so the real question is what is keeping you from experiencing the fullness your sex life has to offer? Have you experienced trauma in the past? Do you have an issue with body image? Does feeling sexy make you feel uncomfortable? Getting down to the root cause of what is causing you to reserve your sexual expression will help you pinpoint the issues and begin on improving.
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What are your sexual interests?
Before getting into any sexual situation, one must know exactly what her sexual interests are. So if you’re being labeled as “boring in bed” then you must take the time to determine what turns you on and what sparks your sexual arousal. Do you like being spanked? Are you into mutual masturbation? Does using toys during sex turn you on? These are questions you should ask yourself when working on uncovering your sexual truth.
Education and communication are the two most important elements in improving your sex life. Making a commitment to work on your sex life is necessary in leaving the mark in the bedroom you (and your partner) desire.
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, http://www.sexperttyomi.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi.