5 Things NOT To Say To Someone Depressed

People who are depressed have a lot on their mind and with that a lot of questions they try to answer themselves: what happened, what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I do anything right? Wouldn’t people be better off if I was dead?

But to make things worse, they often feel isolated and misunderstood because of something silly a friend or family member said. Don’t let that be you. Here are some phrases never to say:


1. What NOT to say:
“There’s always someone worse off than you are.”

What to say:
“You’re not alone in this.”

Depression has a way of singling out a person and putting it in their head that they are the ONLY ones expereicneing this or who have ever experienced this. That’s why many people who face depression want to be alone. Depression feeds off of loneliness. You saying “you’re not alone in this” helps them to know that others have not only experienced this, but have made it through.

2. What NOT to say:
“No one ever said that life was fair.”

What to say:
“You are important to me.”

This comment treats depression like it’s a choice, as if the person suffering is choosing to be in a sad mood. Nobody chooses to be depressed. If it were that easy, we’d choose not to be. The comment, “You are important to me” reminds them that even though they may not value themselves at this point, someone (you) still value them.
3. What NOT to say:
“It’s your own fault.”

What to say:
“When all this is over, I’ll still be here and so will you.”

Even if it may be a course of action from your friend that led him or her to this point, playing the blame game doesn’t help, nor does it change the situation. Many times, it can make it worse. The course of action to follow is to identify the problem and set a course of action to rectify it. The phrase, “when all this is over, I’ll still be here and so will you” speaks volumes that 1.) things will work out and 2.) the situation isn’t dire to harm themselves or other people.