6 Dating Dos & Don’ts After Divorce

African American couple happy man holding flowersDivorce and starting over is a part of life. Many of know someone or have been divorced ourselves. Celebrities like Chris Rock and his wife, Tina Knowles and Matthew Knowles and now Toni Braxton have all divorced and started over. Starting over can be difficult – especially when it applies to dating. Perhaps even trickier than deciding what to wear, where to go, whether to go dutch – not to mention how to meet people – is getting over your fear of finding love after a major split. You may feel vulnerable, unconfident, overwhelmed, like you’re right back in high school. Overall, navigating in the dating world after divorce can be a challenge, but it’s not impossible. The way to win? “Use your head AND your heart,” Certified Dating and Relationship Specialist (CRS), Michelle G., tells BlackDoctor.org.

In addition to “mapping out your own core values — making sure they align with the people you date,” the author of Divorce to Dating: The New Rules for Sex, Dating & Love After A Breakup, advises that those looking for love be “clear on the type of person you want to be in a relationship with.” Adding that, “clarity will help you communicate what you’re looking for on and offline.”

While you’re still likely to kiss a frog or two, Michelle G is here to help you avoid making the biggest mistakes that lead to heartbreak.

Do: Understand it’s a level playing field.

“Online dating has become the equalizer between men and women searching for a mate because the rules of etiquette and approach have changed,” the self-proclaimed “Love Scientist” says of how the game has changed. “These days women are making the first move and men welcome it.”

Don’t: Go on the first date unprepared.

“The first date can be nerve-wrecking especially if you haven’t dated in a while. Set yourself up for success and have 3-5 questions ready to ask your date to get to know them better,” suggests the online matchmaker. “On the same token, make sure you have prepared answers of common questions about topics of past relationships, hobbies and activities, and your dating goals.”

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