Danny R. Gibson, LMFT: A lot of conversation needs to happen. And some very important conversations need to happen. I will see couples sometimes and they’re in a disagreement where they are in their life because they are on totally different pages on where they see themselves going. Discussion about children is very important. Do you want children? How many children do you want? If we have children how do you see yourself raising the children? Those are very important questions.
Discussion about finances. Who makes the most money? Is it okay if the wife makes the most money? Is it okay if the wife makes more money than the husband? How do you plan on spending the money? What are our financial goals going to be? Is it on to purchase a house? How are we saving up for retirement? Is there a rainy fund we’re going to create? Those are all very important conversations. Often, if not discussed it can become a very huge problem in the relationship.
Of course, the biggest one, which I think we all face, is how to take care of student loans and credit card debt. Some other issues that probably need to be discussed are religion.
If we are married and we have children is it important that the child is raised in a particular religion? If it will be Catholic. Will it be Judaism? Will it be Baptist? Will it be whatever? There should be a discussion about how we’re going to raise that child. Or maybe it’s no religion at all. But again it is something that needs to be discussed.
It gets to be the big one is family obligations. Whose family are we going to see on Christmas? Whose family are we going to see on Thanksgiving? Do we switch off holidays? How will that be done with each other’s family? How are we sort of going to manage those social family ties?