7 Black Women Respond To Men Breaking Guy Code

Last week, the brothers spoke candidly with BlackDoctor.org about their perspective on holding the men in their circle accountable for their actions. The conversation sparked so much debate that we had to follow up with the female perspective to see what it’s like to be on the other side. We asked the women how they felt about the belief that men don’t hold one another accountable and also how they felt about their man’s choice in friends. Of course, the sisters had a lot to say. We hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did.

Koleta Smith, 26, Chicago, IL

Koleta SmithI personally do not believe that men hold each other accountable and I am a witness to this. Men, in general, feel as though if the situation has nothing to do with them then they don’t feel the need to say anything. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen men shrug situations off and say “that’s his business” or “that’s a grown a** man”. I also believe that some men are scared to confront another man. I’m not exactly sure what they’re scared of, but in some situations I’ve witnessed, you can feel the fear in the air.

Example: A woman feels disrespected by her man’s friend. Instead of the man being firm about the disrespect, he’ll either tell the woman it wasn’t that serious, say “I will talk to him about it tomorrow”, or “(chuckles) Aye bro, that wasn’t cool (chuckles again)” …what’s funny?…

Issues never get solved if you handle them in that manner. This is why holding men accountable for their actions is important because how else are they going to know that what they’re doing is wrong? It is even more important for a man to do it, instead of women, due to the fact that men look up to one another. Even if he feels like his advice is not going to be received he should still speak up. They may not believe it but they are their brothers and women are affected by it daily.