…loving feelings fade. Then we balk against advice that says, “Fake it til you make it.” But sometimes, you have to act as-if in a long-term relationship, meaning that even if you don’t feel like giving your partner a good morning kiss, you do it anyway.
5. Sex is a sacred act of giving and receiving.
It’s sad and often detrimental that we’re offered zero guidance about one of the most complicated aspects of being human: our sexuality. We learn from pop culture, peers, and now, increasingly, from pornography, that sex is something you use to gain approval, validation or security. Healthy sex is none of those things. Loving sex is an expression of love, an act of connection where you practice the arts and skill of giving and receiving.
6. Life with young children is stressful.
Everyone says that “children” changes things and they are so right! Don’t get me wrong, children are a blessing, but when they enter a two person partnership they can be stressful, overwhelming, rich, but still beautiful. And it will put a strain on even the best of marriages. I often think it’s a small miracle that any couple survives parenting intact, as there’s such a demand on time and filling needs other than your own that the marriage is sure to suffer.
Knowing this can help you weather these challenging years, while remembering how important it is to find time to nurture both yourself and the marriage, no matter how small.
7. Keeping Score Doesn’t Matter
In many relationships, it’s about keeping score–he did this, so you have to do that. Or I did this so how come my mate didn’t do that? But in a marriage–a true marriage–it’s not about keeping score anymore, it’s about being the best person you can be or not despite what the person does or doesn’t do. Hopefully, you’ve asked enough questions up front so that you will know that no matter good times or bad times, that person is still trying to make you happy.
So you’re thinking about marriage, huh? In all of your wedding planning, don’t forget to make time for marriage.
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