If every relationship seems to be the same in a bad way, maybe it’s not your partner — maybe it’s you.
While promoting their new book, “The Wait,” celebrity couple DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good brought up an interesting point about those of us who do the same thing over and over again in relationships. Although their book focuses on choosing celibacy for religious reasons, the duo mentioned another reason to try a new method to finding love — explaining that so often, people end up in the same relationship situations over and over because they fail to change their own patterns.
“In relationships, a lot of people are suffering from post-traumatic relationship disorder,” Franklin says during an interview on Sway in the Morning, “Where you go from one situation where you got completely hurt, and instead of dealing with it and healing, you go right into the next situation.”
The Franklins’ interview was not the first time post-traumatic relationship disorder has been discussed, so what exactly is it? It turns out that this seemingly hyped up affliction is a real one. According to research by the University of Hawaii and the Institute for the Study & Treatment of Psychosocial Stress, this can come from emotional trauma caused by a partner, including abandonment, betrayal, or malevolent intent — the effects many of us experience in a bad relationship.
Even if you’re hurt from a past relationship, it’s necessary to let it go. Relationship expert and author Yanni Brown says that bringing old baggage into a new relationship is one of the many ways to end a relationship before it even starts.
“We don’t tend to do anything different in our relationships once we break up, because no one has told us what was wrong,” Brown says.
Your next relationship doesn’t have to be like your last. Here are three common mistakes you may be making: