Part of the problem is also that, ironically, as strong Black women, many of us are not really in touch with what’s going on inside of us. We often look at women of other races with curiosity because they appear controlled, tight and restrained. Yet, ironically, in our attempts to be strong, we routinely suppress our need to show fear when we’re afraid, to show pain when we are hurting, to cry when we are sad, and to seek help when we are in need. And by not dealing with our hurt, pain and fear, we find ourselves in conflict with ourselves, and many times, solidly on the path to depression.
Why do we take on everyone else’s issues but never deal with our own? Because we’re strong Black women, right? That’s what we do. The truth is that “our external success belies our internal struggles. And being strong Black women often comes with a heavy price. We carry the burden of not showing our pain because we’ve been conditioned to think that pain and suffering are things to be endured.
We need to stop drinking our own Kool-Aid and feeding ourselves lies about what it means to be strong, Black and female. We’ve somehow bought into the myth that as Black women, we’re not supposed to break down or fall apart or show that we’re in pain and full of despair. We’ve bought into the myth that we need to be nurturing more than we need to be nurtured. We’ve fooled ourselves into believing that as long as we take care of our families and our careers, are active in our churches, and give back to our communities, we’ve arrived and we’re okay even when we know that we’re not. In reality, many of us find ourselves having lost our sense of self – for weeks, months and sometimes years – while caring for everything and everyone but ourselves.
So, strong Black woman, with all of your fortitude and determination, set it in your mind to deal with your depression. You’ve dealt with some major stuff and somehow you’ve been able to dig deep and find the strength to deal with life’s challenges. Now I want you to go back within yourself and find whatever strength you have to do just one thing: Tell yourself and tell God that you want to get better. That you need to get better first for you and then for those you love!
*edited exclusively for use by BlackDoctor.org