• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
BlackDoctor.org
Where Wellness & Culture Connect

Where Wellness & Culture Connect

  • Health Conditions
  • Wellness
  • Lifestyle
  • Longevity
  • Resource Centers
    • Cancer Resource Center
    • Covid Resource Center
    • Clinical Trials Resource Center
  • Find A Doctor
  • BDO TV
Home / cornbread / Oh Yes She Did! Single Moms Raising Boys To Be Men

Oh Yes She Did! Single Moms Raising Boys To Be Men

mother and son playing outside
A couple of months ago, I wrote an article entitled, If I Had A Daughter, Would I Teach Her To Think Like A Man? in response to the recent Steve Harvey movie based on his book.  The premise of the article was to address some gender disparities that exist in America.

Celebrate great health! LIKE BlackDoctor.org on Facebook!

Once my clients, students, friends, and family read the article, I began getting more and more questions about single parenting and how effective one parent can be in raising children.  From both men and women, I was confronted with an age-old question: Do you think a single woman can raise a boy to be a man?

The question typically emerged when “Little Johnny” has done something wrong in school or in the community and the mom finds herself at wits end by trying to figure out why she might be struggling to get her son to “act right.”

Typically, many parents would typically short-change herself by rationalizing her son’s behavior by saying things like “Well, I’m just a single mom,” or “As a woman, I can’t teach my son how to be a man,” or “Boys will be boys and I just don’t know what to do with him.” So, can a single mom raise a boy to be a man?

You May Also Like
7 Proven Ways to Cure an Upset Stomach

Unequivocally, yes.

Raising a boy to be a man means teaching him responsibility.  Responsibility means commitment to oneself and one’s community.  It means that when a boy becomes a man, he is able to be responsible for himself and be willing to care for the people who are closest to him.

There are a few types of responsibility to consider: emotional responsibility (e.g., keeping it real about how he feels rather than not saying anything); physical responsibility (e.g., making good decisions about what to do).  Teaching boys to be responsible is NOT gender specific and does not require a man to be around to teach it.

Similar to responsibility, raising a boy to be a man means teaching him how to be independent.  We have too many grown men who live with their mom and rely on them for food, water, shelter and clothing.  All of us have a brother, cousin, or friend who lives at home with his mother because he is afraid of striking out on his own. Moms can teach independence to their boys by responsibly allowing their sons to explore their environment.  The key word above is “responsibly” meaning that moms should take into account her son’s age and maturity when it comes to learning about what’s around him.

You May Also Like
How One Woman Eliminated 50 Fibroids without Surgery!

Allowing her son to be positively rewarded and sometimes failing can instill a sense of confidence for boys.  Holding him back by manipulation to suit her own emotional and social needs keeps many boys from becoming strong and independent men.

Being responsible and independent also serve as substrates for being assertive.  Many, if not all boys, are taught to fight for themselves or fight when they are disrespected.  It does not take a man to teach a boy how or when to fight. Moms can teach their sons to advocate and make good decisions for themselves.

Whoopin’ someone’s ass to get a point across or cursing someone out may seem great in the moment, but does it really solve anything?  Moms can help their sons by helping him consider alternative solutions when he gets angry, frustrated, or annoyed.  Boys can model their mother’s pro-social behavior and have discussions about what is the right/best thing to do.

Single moms and dads have so much power and influence when it comes to affecting their child’s decisions. Encouraging boys to feel positive about themselves, their families, and their communities can enable them to become productive men for tomorrow.

Dr. James Wadley is an Associate Professor and Director of the Master of Human Services Program at Lincoln University. He’s a licensed professional counselor and marriage, family, and sexuality therapist in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. The author of “The Lost and Found Box” can also be 

July 10, 2012 by Dr. James Wadley, BDO Relationship Expert

Read Next Article

The Latest In cornbread

Primary Sidebar

Subscribe to our newsletter

Poll

Popular Posts

  • Mo’Nique at 55: Slimmer, Happier & Wiser: “I Love Us For Real”Mo'Nique at 55: Slimmer, Happier & Wiser: "I Love Us For Real"
  • Chef Babette Davis: Making 70+ Look Simply Delicious!Chef Babette Davis: Making 70+ Look Simply Delicious!
  • Monica Calhoun at 51: “Exude Beauty Inside, Manifest It Outside”Monica Calhoun at 51: "Exude Beauty Inside, Manifest It Outside"
  • Taimak: The Last Dragon Lives 35+ Years Later!Taimak: The Last Dragon Lives 35+ Years Later!
  • John David Washington: “They Tried To Use My Name Against Me”John David Washington: "They Tried To Use My Name Against Me"

Podcast

Footer

Where Wellness & Culture Connect

BDO is the world’s largest and most comprehensive online health resource specifically targeted to African Americans. BDO understands that the uniqueness of Black culture - our heritage and our traditions - plays a role in our health. BDO gives you access to innovative new approaches to the health information you need in everyday language so you can break through the disparities, gain control and live your life to its fullest.

Connect With Us

Learn More About

  • Hepatitis C
  • Diabetes
  • Sickle Cell
  • Mental Health
  • About Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Advertise With Us
  • BlackDoctor.org Advertising and Sponsorship Policy
  • Daily Vitamina
  • TBH

Copyright © 2023, BlackDoctor, Inc. All rights reserved.