Few things can knock even the strongest man or woman to their knees, like infidelity. Anguish, guilt and rage are just the beginning array of emotions once an affair has been discovered or revealed.
So, what happens next? Partners who have been cheated on may be called upon to forgive and get beyond the betrayal. Partners who have cheated on their mate, now have the responsibility of working to rebuild the trust that has been lost. Neither of these things are simple, but with hard work it can be possible for some to put the affair behind them and emerge as a stronger, happier couple.
For others, however, the magnitude of outrage and pain following the discovery of an affair can prove to be just too much to recover from. Some partners remain hopelessly stuck amidst their pain and hostility, making it all but impossible to heal. Communicating thoughts and feelings is the most essential first step in getting beyond the pain of an affair.
Affairs can crush the foundation of any marriage by destroying trust and ruining communication. Following an affair, trust issues can be so fractured that the individual who cheated must always be willing to be accountable for their whereabouts, even though he or she may think that to be unfair. There must be a willingness to make promises and commitments that an affair will never happen again.
Sadly, the person who cheated often wants to quickly put the affair behind them. However, he or she needs to honor the emotional healing of his or her partner while bearing in mind, there is no timetable for these things. Once an affair is discovered, partners struggle with understanding why the affair occurred, the “signs” they missed and what they possibly could have done differently.
There are many different reasons why someone might have an affair. Sometimes, it’s purely a case of poor judgment—a person may feel happy with their marriage, but a late-night dinner with co-workers along with few cocktails can often lead to failing impulse control. Quite often, it can be a search for an emotional…