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I was in complete denial that my world was in total chaos. I was promoted to my first management position and was stressed out! By January 2014 I had officially hit rock bottom with my weight and wanted to disappear even though the thought of dying terrified me.
I completely ignored that eerie, dark feeling that followed me, as well as some major warning signs. My chest was tight, fingers tingled and my arm would constantly go numb.
Instead, I became a closet eater. If people couldn’t see me eat then they couldn’t possibly notice I’m gaining weight! As long as I received compliments on my hair, makeup, etc. then my diminishing waist line was going unnoticed.
I played that mind game for so long that I convinced myself that I didn’t even have a weight problem! Despite being a former athlete I was over 300 pounds.
Toward the end of February I remember looking in the mirror and it was as if I was looking at myself for the first time. I remember saying out loud, “Catrice, you are fat and going to die” and then I cried because it hurt to hear my own voice say what I already knew.
For the first time I was being honest with myself about my weight.