If you’ve lost your mother to either a sudden or a long-term illness or accident, your Mother’s Day may be especially painful. Even if you lost your mother years ago, you may still struggle with depression, sadness, grief or despair.
There are no words…
Grief is grief is grief. It’s something that each person experiences differently and reacts to differently. But…there are some ways to seeking healthy relief from this sometimes overwhelming feeling:
1. Let yourself grieve. Denying or fighting your sadness makes it worse, and isn’t physically or emotionally healthy. Give yourself time to mourn. Go for a solitary walk or drive – invite your partner or loved one if you feel like it. Take some quiet time to reflect and honor your memories. Don’t feel guilty about crying, being angry, or not feeling like doing much of anything. The best thing you can do right now is to be honest with yourself and allow yourself to grieve.
2. Reach Out To Others. Talk to a family member, friend, or anyone else who you enjoy being around. If you don’t want to, there’s no reason to directly talk about your grief. Talk about anything that helps you breathe even a little sigh of relief. Similarly, if a friend or family member has recently lost their mother, reach out to them. It may feel awkward or uncomfortable to be around them, but just ask them how they are, or tell them you were thinking about them. Invite them out for a nice meal, a movie, a game of pool, or anything else you think the both of you may enjoy.
3. Show Your Love To Your Loved Ones. If you’ve lost your mom, shower your attention and appreciation on your mother-in-law, aunt, or even an older friend. To ease depression on Mother’s Day, show people you love them.
4. Express your emotions. Whether you like to write, paint, exercise, or garden, do something to get your emotions out of you. Yell, scream, take deep breaths, whisper, punch pillows, etc. Connect with God or the universe. Again, just be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling – and let yourself feel that way.
5. Focus on what brings you joy. Jump into what you love to do! Dig in the garden, go to a funny movie, enjoy a great meal, or get out of town for the weekend. Savor life as best you can. Just think: this is what your mother would want you to do.
Help Is Out There…
If you’re struggling with severe or major depression on Mother’s Day, have thoughts of suicide, or find that your grief is just too overwhelming, contact your doctor, a counselor, or a distress line (such as the ones provided below). Don’t try to cope with this sadness or despair on your own – help is out there!
National Hopeline Network:
Deaf Hotline: 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)