Popular daily radio and vlog show, The Breakfast Club co-host DJ Envy and his wife Gia Casey have been in the news lately, and not for their job. Gia has admitted she had faked orgasms for 10 years of her marriage. It was something she said she did repeatedly and consistently. The couple sat down with The Shade Room to have an intimate chat and discuss their new book Real Life, Real Love: Life Lessons on Joy, Pain & the Magic That Holds Us Together.
Casey started the conversation about her struggle to reach a climax with her husband because it is a part of the book, which is available now. The radio personality, as Casey shared, was her first and only because they met in high school.
“Most young girls and even many, many, many women, I’m sure so many women can relate, don’t know how to achieve an orgasm,” she said. “A lot of women have no idea what it feels like to have an orgasm through sexual intercourse.”
“We would be intimate and he would be putting his best foot forward…he lives to make me happy. So I would see him trying and really going to work,” she continued. “You want to reward that man for that work and the only reward that you have to offer is an orgasm. But even if I didn’t feel it, I would still be performative.”
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In retrospect, Casey says she realized he couldn’t help her reach orgasm because she didn’t know what she needed to get there.
“He was doing everything a man could do to please a woman. The problem was, I didn’t know my own body,” she admitted.
This is more of a common problem for women than you think.
According to the published Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, a whopping 81.6% of women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone (without additional clit stimulation). And nearly 15% of women have never orgasmed ever!
Not reaching an orgasm makes a great number of women feel inadequate, as if her sexual equipment is broken, leading her down a path of exploration to seek and find the BIG O. After trying many positions, reading self-help books and buying dozens of toys, some women remain unaware of exactly what an orgasm is and why it is so difficult to reach one. So the question is, why is it so difficult for women to reach orgasm when men seem to be able to reach sexual bliss so easily?
The answer actually consists of a few parts:
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1. Women need more than entry to orgasm.
Inserting part A into slot B is the typical sexual situation that the average couple believes will enable both partners to reach a climax, but in actuality women need more than vaginal penetration in order to reach an orgasm. About 70% of women need clitoral stimulation along with penetrative sex in order to reach an orgasm. The clitoris is made up of 8000 nerve endings making it the most sensitive body part on a woman, so it needs love and attention as does the rest of the body during sex!
During penetration, the clitoris is stimulated from the inside because of its legs that extend deep into the vagina, but for most women that internal stimulation isn’t enough. DIRECT contact is where it’s at! Sex positions that position the pelvises close together, oral sex during foreplay or using a clitoral vibrator during sex are great ways to ensure clitorial stimulation is achieved during intercourse.
2. Women’s sexual energy starts in the brain.
Sexual energy is a vital source of energy that gives life to every living being on the Earth. When it comes to men and women, sexual energy originates in different parts of the body. In men, sexual energy originates in the pelvis, which explains why men are ready for sex in 20 seconds as opposed to the 10 minutes it typically takes a woman’s body to be ready for intercourse. Women’s sexual energy originates in the…
