Fortunately, therapy helped me realize how erroneous my thoughts were.
Through therapy, I also came to realize that my fibroids were likely playing a role in my mental health. This is a symptom that’s rarely talked about. Studies have shown that many Black women experience significant emotional and psychological responses to fibroids, ranging from general worry and concern to fear, anxiety, sadness and depression.
Empowered by this knowledge and frustrated by the lack of insight from my OB-GYN, I decided to get a second opinion about my fibroids. That was a great decision and one that confirmed my certainty. I ultimately had a myomectomy during which all four of my fibroids were removed.
Ironically, I suffered an ectopic miscarriage shortly afterwards. For that, I underwent a salpingectomy and lost one of my fallopian tubes. I was still in therapy at the time. Two years later, I had another miscarriage. That would be my sixth loss. Surprisingly, I’d built up the mental capacity to better cope with this loss. My mind and perspective had changed.
Despite the loss, through therapy, I saw how precious my own life was and started to cherish every moment of it—even though my family was smaller than I’d originally hoped it would be. I began to cherish every single experience, no matter how small or large.
It might sound a bit cliché, but in spite of my pregnancy losses, I’d learned to find new things to cherish and be grateful for. I learned to understand that each loss was in order and not my fault. I learned to acknowledge that, even in the presence of that inevitable pain that comes with loss, there’s always room to live, learn and grow.
The moment I began to accept my life, my reality and these truths was the very moment I experienced a miracle and successfully conceived, and then carried to term what would be another beautiful baby boy. That’s right: Four miscarriages, one myomectomy, one ectopic pregnancy and another miscarriage later, I had another baby.
Life is full of surprises!
In sharing this piece, it’s my sincere hope…