• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
BlackDoctor.org
Where Wellness & Culture Connect

Where Wellness & Culture Connect

  • Health Conditions
  • Wellness
  • Lifestyle
  • Longevity
  • Resource Centers
    • Cancer Resource Center
    • Covid Resource Center
    • Clinical Trials Resource Center
  • Find A Doctor
  • BDO TV
Home / Lifestyle / Relationships / 7 Cures For Common Relationship Problems

7 Cures For Common Relationship Problems

your ultimate test of whether love is real.”

4. Embrace “Me, me, me!”

Sound selfish? Not at all, says Alison Armstrong, founder of the Understanding Men series of workshops (UnderstandMen.com) and author of Making Sense of Men (Pax Programs).

“Before you commit to someone else, get clear about what is most important in your life and spend your time, money and energy on that.”

In fact, most people are attracted to those who feel comfortable in their own skin, she says.

You May Also Like
7 Proven Ways to Cure an Upset Stomach

RELATED: How to Manage Relationship Fatigue

5. Fight, yes, but don’t be cruel.

Happy, functional couples fight – it’s part of the deal (and make-up sex is the happy ending). But when unhappy couples brawl, it can be like War of the Roses. And nothing brings a troubled relationship down faster.

“A lot of couples’ therapy is helping people fight in a nicer way,” Johnson says.

Happy couples who feel secure with one another probably won’t get as mean as those who aren’t feeling the love from their partner.

You May Also Like
How One Woman Eliminated 50 Fibroids without Surgery!

“They can find a way to reach for each other” and make “safe, emotional connections,” Johnson says.

Her No. 1 fighting rule: Don’t turn your partner into the enemy. “Try to listen to your own needs and fears that are coming up in these fights,” she says. It’ll help you feel secure with each other, even in the midst of battle.

Another difference: Even in the midst of a fight, healthy couples feel safe, they can “call” for their partner and their partner will come, Johnson says.

6. Examine your definition of trust.

Traditionally, a relationship based on trust meant, “I trust you to be faithful and keep your agreements,” Richo says.

But in modern times, your definition of trust needs to also create room for the inevitabilities of life and love, and how you handle them, he says, such as:

  • “I trust myself to appreciate that you will keep your agreements and work things out with me.”
  • “I trust myself to receive that with appreciation, and I also trust myself to handle the times when you don’t come through, when you don’t keep agreements.”
  • “And in those times, I trust myself to try to work it out and not to retaliate.”

People aren’t perfect, and they’re not always as loving and loyal as they intend to be or you want them to be.

Even though “you’re totally open to your partner’s trustworthiness, the trust is in myself,” Richo says. “If and when something happens to contradict that, I’m not going to fall apart.”

7. Get to the real heart of the problem.

You know those arguments where your partner complains about the dirty dishes in the sink and you end up defending yourself or shutting down?

The real problem is deeper, Johnson says.

“This isn’t about whether to build a new cottage,” Johnson says. “This is about the fact that I’m scared if we build a new cottage, you’ll spend a lot of time up there and withdraw from me and I’ll feel lonely.”

Getting to the truth of feelings driving the fight – and sharing those truths – is key to a happy love life.

Likewise, recognizing the wounds that make you react impulsively is the first step in healing them, Johnson says. Those raw spot forms when your attachment needs aren’t met and you feel emotionally deserted.

January 8, 2022 by Lanesha Townsend, BDO Staff Writer

Previous pageRead Next Article

The Latest In Relationships

5 love languages

Which Of The 5 Love Languages Are You?

Unhappiness in relationships can stem from many things: a lack of communication, finances, jealousy and infidelity just to name a few. But, at the root of that discord is ultimately a difference in how we love one another as well read more about Which Of The 5 Love Languages Are You?
technology and dating

Is Technology Ruining Your Dating Life?

If you are over 50 years old, you know dating is significantly different than it was before 1995. Back then, there was no confusion about what a date meant to either person. A “date” could be defined as you and read more about Is Technology Ruining Your Dating Life?
how often do healthy couples fight

Relationship 101: Healthy Fighting

I remember the honeymoon phase of my relationship. Everything really did seem like a fairy tale. Gum drops, bubble gum and lollipops were all I saw when it came to him. It was like I had been picked up by read more about Relationship 101: Healthy Fighting
Steve Harvey

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man? Steve Harvey’s Top Tips For Dating

Lori Harvey has caused quite a stir online with her dating life, but one thing is for sure, the 26-year-old is dating on her terms, something that she learned from watching her parents.  After her split from Micheal B. Jordan read more about Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man? Steve Harvey’s Top Tips For Dating
date night

Celebrate The Holidays With The Perfect Date Night Out

Date night is needed in any and every relationship you may have because it’s the time to explore new things with the ones you cherish. Though a date night at any time of year can be magical, there’s nothing like read more about Celebrate The Holidays With The Perfect Date Night Out
Christmas gifts

Don’t Know What To Get Her? 6 Tips To Picking Out A Gift She’ll Love

Okay now, we all know ladies can be tough when it comes to Christmas gifts. They all have specific things they like and certainly don’t like. They may like designer handbags but may only actually wear the crossbody kind. Or read more about Don’t Know What To Get Her? 6 Tips To Picking Out A Gift She’ll Love

Primary Sidebar

Subscribe to our newsletter

Poll

Popular Posts

  • 10 Signs You’re Living With Clogged Arteries 10 Signs You’re Living With Clogged Arteries
  • Mo’Nique at 55: Slimmer, Happier & Wiser: “I Love Us For Real”Mo'Nique at 55: Slimmer, Happier & Wiser: "I Love Us For Real"
  • Monica Calhoun at 51: “Exude Beauty Inside, Manifest It Outside”Monica Calhoun at 51: "Exude Beauty Inside, Manifest It Outside"
  • Taimak: The Last Dragon Lives 35+ Years Later!Taimak: The Last Dragon Lives 35+ Years Later!
  • John David Washington: “They Tried To Use My Name Against Me”John David Washington: "They Tried To Use My Name Against Me"

Podcast

Footer

Where Wellness & Culture Connect

BDO is the world’s largest and most comprehensive online health resource specifically targeted to African Americans. BDO understands that the uniqueness of Black culture - our heritage and our traditions - plays a role in our health. BDO gives you access to innovative new approaches to the health information you need in everyday language so you can break through the disparities, gain control and live your life to its fullest.

Connect With Us

Learn More About

  • Hepatitis C
  • Diabetes
  • Sickle Cell
  • Mental Health
  • About Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Advertise With Us
  • BlackDoctor.org Advertising and Sponsorship Policy
  • Daily Vitamina
  • TBH

Copyright © 2023, BlackDoctor, Inc. All rights reserved.