Getting There: 7 Ways To Have Stronger (More Powerful) Orgasms

African American Black woman laying in bed underwear

I was recently asked by a national print publication about my thoughts about sexual intimacy and intensifying orgasms and I wanted to share a few tips with you to help you “get there,” whether you’re with your significant other or by yourself.

Too often, we become so fixated on having a mind blowing, earth shattering, toe-curling orgasm that we forget how nice it can be to be teased, touched, enticed, caressed, taken, enthralled, and compelled sexually.

Sure, chandelier-hanging sex “til the cops come knockin” is cool, but for many people, the challenge of reaching orgasmic ecstasy remains elusive.

Have you ever tried tantic sex?

Tantra is a style of meditation and ritual credited to an ancient Hindu practice over 6,000 years ago, and its basis is rooted in connecting with the divine through the use of spiritual energy. It literally means “the weaving and expansion of energy.” In the case of tantric sex, sexual energy is used to not only come into complete unity with a beloved but to also draw closer to a higher power.

Tantric sex isn’t necessarily about reaching an orgasm. The goal is to experience more depth in sexuality and to enrich the whole sexual experience. Tantric sex, unlike traditional lovemaking, doesn’t have a beginning or an end and does not necessarily involve actual intercourse.

The entire tantric experience is a song and dance between both partners that involves extended foreplay built upon intimacy, meditation and unity. There is no particular goal in tantric sex. Instead, the focus is to enjoy exquisite unity during sexual expression. Tantric sex teaches couples how to extend their moments of sexual ecstasy to experience multiple orgasms in one sexual experience.

Imagine being able to feel those euphoric moments over and over in the period of 30 minutes. Tantric sex allows couples to become multi-orgasmic and to use sex as a form of manifestation to not only improve their relationship but each individual’s overall health.

So how does one go about participating in tantric sex?  It’s more simple than you think.

Here are four positions to try tonight:

1. Tiny ball
Also known as the Method of Great Bee, the tiny ball allows for full depth penetration and control over thrusting rhythm. Climb onto your partner in cowgirl position. Pull your knees to either side of your body, like you’re sitting in a low squat. Opt for a rocking motion over bouncing up and down. This position is erotic because you are the one with all the power of motion.

Be sure to make lots of eye contact with your partner. Tantra is about emotional connection so, the more you can do to enable closeness, the better.

2. Plated Spoon
Spooning is an intimate sex position already, but adding a tantric twist can really get the volume up on this classic move. Set the mood with some lavender and rose scented candles and the long version of Prince’s “Scandalous” (Trust us, it’s what you need).

Start with some very slow, passionate kissing. Synchronize your breathing with your partner’s. Then, have your partner lie behind you and enter you. Keep things slow and passionate. Have him or her touch your body and interlace fingers. Spooning never felt so sexy.