pointing out how science has found emotional pain and physical pain activate the same areas in the brain. In other words, struggle love could affect your health, giving a whole new meaning to the phrase “love hurts.”
We know no one is perfect. We also know not all black men expect women to participate in struggle love. However, we know this behavior is far too common in our community. Relationships that cause consistent, long term stress as a result of struggle love are not the type of relationships we should pursue or encourage.
It is not an accomplishment to endure emotional abuse for long periods of time. Standing by your partner for years while they take advantage of your loyalty and vulnerability is not a measure of strength. On the other hand, it is a measure of love. It’s not a measure of love for your partner or your family, but a measure of love for yourself.
We shouldn’t celebrate these types of relationships. Know what your deal breakers are and communicate them with your partner in the beginning. If he or she chooses to break those boundaries, learn to walk away. There are quality black men who will reciprocate your love without expecting you to prove you’re worthy after years of struggle.
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