passed by since my divorce, I was still holding potential partners hostage for things that didn’t go well in my first marriage.
To truly move on, I had to let go and that started with forgiveness. Although I don’t recommend this to everyone, I called my ex-husband and told him that I forgave him. I also asked him to forgive me.
Unlike in the movies when things immediately fall into place after such a cathartic moment, my process of healing and being open to love again did not happen overnight.
After being divorced for about eight years, at the bequest of a friend, I tried online dating. I created a profile that accurately reflected my interests and used a profile picture that mirrored what I looked like at that time, not 10 years ago. I met some interesting guys, but there was one in particular who stood out.
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We corresponded via the dating app for weeks, then we graduated to text messages, and then finally phone calls. This went on for three months before we finally went on our first date. We immediately clicked and our friendship blossomed.
The more time I spent with him, the more I realized that loving again was my choice. Christmas Eve 2018 marked our one-year anniversary as Mr. and Mrs.
The reality is that love after divorce does exists. I am friends with many people who are in the midst of what I like to call ‘a remix’. The key is being willing to give true love and the institution of marriage a second look.
Yes, this is a deeply personal decision. You neither want to rush the process nor do you want to give up. I am a walking testimony that by opening one’s heart and mind, there is a strong possibility that you can find what you truly want and need in a spouse.
Tyra Seldon, Ph.D. is a former English professor turned writer, editor and small business owner. Passionate about the English language and the craft of storytelling, she launched Seldon Writing Group, LLC in 2011. Dr. Seldon has worked with education tech companies, celebrities, aspiring writers, entrepreneurs, media outlets, Fortune 500 companies, and government agencies to develop their written content. When she’s not writing, she’s traveling the world, one continent at a time. She can be reached at [email protected]
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