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Home / About Us / Meet The Couple Behind ‘Black Love’: Codie & Tommy Oliver

Meet The Couple Behind ‘Black Love’: Codie & Tommy Oliver

 

The duo interviewed of a variety of couples including some you’ll recognize–like Tia Mowry & Cory Hardrict and Meagan Good & Devon Franklin–and some you won’t. During the process they learned so much about marriage and how to make it work on you and your spouse’s terms. “We’ve interviewed now over 80 couples, so there’s no shortage of gems. Every relationship is different, so we can watch the same interviews and take something different from it,” said Codie.

“We spoke with a couple. Two women, who had been married for over 13 years. They had six kids and one of the things they shared with us was that it doesn’t have to make sense, it just has to make peace. Which is a really important thought because a lot of times I think we try to make sense of things. We want our partner to do what we would do. Then you spend more time arguing or debating, “Why, why, why?” It doesn’t have to make sense. As long as it doesn’t hurt you, just take it, be quiet, go along or be supportive because it makes peace between you and your partner.

Tommy: Even when your wife doesn’t make any damn sense. (laughs)

Codie: That’s the point, my love.

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Tommy: I love you.

“One of the quotes that he would like me to adopt–we [interviewed] a wife and she had been with her husband for 8 years. They met and married in four months which is pretty incredible. She said, “Marriage is like self-love for two. If I get a cup of coffee, you get a cup of coffee. If I’m doing something for me, I should make sure I’m doing something for him.”

Tommy: And Codie is still learning to think about that. (laughs)

Codie: Right. Like he’s still learning how to make peace, my love. Those are two lessons that stuck out to us.

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Tommy: Another really big one is picking your battles. That’s one we struggle with to this day, but I found throughout these interviews and it’s something that’s really important, is learning to know what’s worth fighting for and what’s not worth fighting for.

Codie: To know for yourself first. Because it’s subjective for each person. Because if you have five issues with your spouse, but what’s going to make the biggest impact for you to address.

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