I’ve suffered a lot of losses dealing with this disease. But the greatest loss of all was allowing it and chemical depression to destroy my marriage.
I hate this disloyal disease; I hate that I allowed this disease and my negligence to get mental treatment sooner to force me to make some poor decisions in life and as a result, destroy my family.
My husband was literally my heartbeat and if I could turn back the hands of time, I would have swallowed my pride and sought help sooner. But instead, I cared about what others would think of me, if they knew that I was depressed.
I can handle this on my own is the lie I told myself.
I was diagnosed with Lupus and unexplained infertility in 2003; this was the same year I met my ex-husband, an extremely handsome, brilliant and wonderful medical professional. He and I fell head over hills in love, we were eager to be married and grow our blended family.
My first year dealing with Lupus was the hardest because, I found myself undergoing a whirlwind of mixed emotions, medications and lifestyle changes. That year alone, I suffered with constant chronic hives, I gained more than 75 pounds, migraines, memory loss and I itched uncontrollably.
Before my diagnosis, I was a woman that didn’t even know how to swallow a pill, suddenly I was taking six to eight pills per day just to live.
In 2004, as a new wife and after a year of unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant, I started to feel like less than a woman and…