After being raped and learning of her HIV-positive status 15 years ago, raising HIV/AIDS awareness in the Black community became Kim Moon's number one priority. The Atlanta, GA resident travels all over the world speaking about the importance of HIV testing and knowing your status, a truth Kim knows all too well. The advocate recently spoke with BlackDoctor.org about living with HIV, what keeps her motivated and how she's at the forefront of educating - and saving - Black lives.
READ: My Story: "HIV Is My Roommate"
BlackDoctor.org (BDO): How did you learn of your HIV status?
Kim Moon (KM): I was raped in 2001 and initially my HIV test was negative but my doctor told me that I needed to continue being tested every six months for three years. But after my first test was negative I didn’t go back, that is until my doctor called and insisted that I come in to be tested at least once more. So I did and two weeks later, I got the call and was asked to come back in and she told me that I was HIV positive.
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BDO: What were your initial thoughts upon diagnosis?
KM: My initial thoughts were, “I HAVE AIDS AND I’M GOING TO DIE,” and I literally thought that I was going to die like the next day or something because like so many others, I was dumb to HIV. It wasn’t on my radar. I never even thought about the possibility of getting anything like that and it wasn’t because I wasn’t having unprotected sex because I was - I have three children to prove it. The fact of the matter is, I think perhaps it didn’t cross my mind because I only heard about it in the news, like with Magic Johnson or someone else that was gay or from another country like Africa. And after being diagnosed I think I was even dumber because I thought every problem was HIV: If I stumbled, it’s the HIV that’s got my equilibrium off. If I coughed or if my eyes turned red, never mind that it could be allergies, [I thought] I’ve got some type of opportunistic infection. I wanted to lose weight but if I lost the weight then I wondered is it AIDS. It was awful because I was scared and uneducated, not to mention the fact that I depended on Dr. Google for answers and we all know that Googling a symptom or an illness is the most efficient way to convince yourself that you’re dying. In fact, Google will have you going from a mild headache to clinically dead in about three clicks [laughing]!
BDO: Did you share your status with family and friends right away? How did you handle those conversations?
KM: No! I had a friend, my hairstylist, to go to the doctor with me and he was the only person who knew for a long time. I told my middle daughter and niece early on because I thought they were strong enough to handle it but that wasn’t the case with my daughter. However, it caused my niece to change her career and she now works in an infectious disease doctor’s office. It was later on, actually on my birthday years later, when I told my baby boy and oldest daughter. I was very hesitant about telling them because my son was a momma’s boy and because I struggled really badly with the rape, I sent him to live with my mom in Alabama. My oldest daughter was already out of high school and still lived in Alabama but bless her heart, she’s a nervous wreck and she panics a lot. My middle daughter was really grateful when I finally told them. She said that she was glad to not have to carry that weight by herself because it was weighing heavily on her and she felt like she was carrying it alone.BDO: What course of treatment did you choose? How has it worked for you?
KM: Because I was trying to deal with being raped in the beginning, I did whatever the doctor told me to do. I didn’t ask any questions. If he said it, I did it! But after getting educated and learning everything I could about HIV and the different treatment regimens, I now take a more active role in my healthcare. What I had to come to grips with was, yes, it’s my doctor's job to make sure that I’m healthy by prescribing me the correct treatment regimen but ultimately, it’s my job to make sure that I stay healthy. So not only do I take my medication daily, I eat healthy, drink plenty of water and exercise regularly.
BDO: How do you cope mentally and physically day-to-day? What works for you on the days that are more challenging than others?
KM: In spite of everything that I’ve been through, I’m a very positive person because I believe what the bible says when it tells me to speak those things that are not as though they are. So every morning after thanking God for a good night’s sleep and allowing me to wake up, I do morning affirmations: “I’m happy, I’m healthy, I’m humble, I’m wealthy, I’m strong, I am a champion, I am victorious." Because what I realized is, half the battle of being diagnosed with a life-threatening disease like HIV is in the mind. It’s mental and once you can wrap your mind around having HIV, you can process how to live with it. I’m not saying that living with an HIV diagnosis is easy, because it’s not, but that’s partly because of the stigma attached to it. But once you get yourself in a safe place mentally and a healthy place physically nothing or no one can stop you from living a happy, vibrant and most importantly healthy life. In all honesty, I don’t have bad days, at least not because of HIV anyway. And besides, studies have shown and proven that an HIV positive person’s life expectancy is the same as it was before being diagnosed.
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BDO: What kind of support network do you have in place?
KM: I have several support avenues and one of my biggest supporters is me. I know that might sound selfish or perhaps even self-centered but I look in the mirror daily and talk to myself to assure myself that today is gonna be a good day or that I look good today, I even take myself out on a date every now and then. I do that because as I meet people and they share their stories with me, I begin to realize that there are so many people whose self-esteem and self-worth is shot. They have no love for themselves because they are longing for it from someone else. But we have to learn to love and support ourselves. Yes, it’s good to have someone but if you don’t know how to do those things for yourself, you won’t know what you truly want and nor will you ever know how to give it, accept it and receive it. Another one of my biggest support teams is my kids. They’re all grown now but they are my ride or die. I also have a few friends that I can call and talk to who support me 100 percent. My pastor, being one of them, who also happens to be a personal friend; my hairstylist, who is a childhood friend; and one or two girlfriends that I can call day or night and they are there for me. In all of that, I have to say that I gain my greatest strength from being strength for others.
BDO: Many people still fear getting tested. What is your advice to them?
KM: Before answering this question, I have to first ask a question to the person in fear of being tested: WHY? Most women today get an annual pap smear and at a certain age get an annual mammogram, and most men at a certain age get an annual prostate exam. So why not get an HIV test? It’s all about taking preventative measures. So just like you would take the tests to ensure that you don’t have breast cancer, cervical cancer or prostate cancer, why not get an HIV test to ensure that you’re not HIV positive or worse AIDS? There are people with several risk factors - high risk, low risk and no risk - and the only person who has no risk of being HIV positive is the person who has never had sex and that’s provided no injected drugs or other factors are in play. But, even the person who has protected sex is at low risk and should be tested simply because condoms break. And for the person who says, 'Well I’m married… ' AND?! I know many people who are married or in what they thought was a monogamous relationship and are now HIV positive and these are heterosexual couples and I put emphasis on heterosexual because people seem to think that it’s a gay man’s disease. It’s not! Understand this, for every person that you sleep with, you are sleeping with them and every person that they have ever slept with and vice versa. So the best advice that I can give a person in fear of being tested is letting them know that being tested, knowing your status and knowing your partner's status can not only CHANGE your life, but it could very well SAVE your life. Get tested! Know your status!
BDO: How are you currently helping to raise awareness around HIV/AIDS in the Black community?
KM: I’m a member of the PPOG, Positive Peers of Georgia, which is a group of positive people who meet and get educated by doctors, pharmacists and pharmaceutical reps so we can go out in the community to help educate and test others. I am a board member of the Heather Ivy Society, which is a small group of women, some positive, some not and some are physicians or nurse practitioners working in the field, but we meet and have programs to educate the business class and professional women because they are underserved. I’m the 2nd Vice Chair of The Metropolitan Atlanta HIV Health Services Planning Council, also known as the Ryan White program, which is a Federal legislation that addresses the unmet health needs of people living with HIV by funding primary health care and other core services that enhance access to and retention in care. I am the Co-chair for the biggest conference held here in the Atlanta area called AAOI, also known as Atlanta Area Outreach Initiative. Initially this annual conference only sought to educate HIV positive people and link them to care as well as inform them of services available in the Atlanta area, but now we've added prevention to educate HIV negative people. My personal opinion is that if we educate everyone (negative and positive) we can help eradicate the spread of HIV by helping them understand the risks and consequences of not protecting themselves, as well as helping them have that must have conversation with their significant other(s). I have also had the pleasure of creating a training manual/curriculum to train [HIV] positive people to be peer educators and advocates for HIV. Lastly, I make, sell and more often than not give away HIV awareness bracelets to others in this fight with me and to those willing to support us by wearing one.
BDO: What have you learned about yourself through this experience?
KM: Living in my truth has helped to build character and self-confidence. I am stronger, wiser and better because of it, but the best thing that I learned about myself through this whole experience is that I MATTER! There was a time when I wasn’t so sure. I was that person who had to learn to love me all over again and because I was so dumb to HIV in the beginning, I was afraid of me. I also learned that I’m stronger than I thought I was or could ever imagine being. I know I have purpose and that purpose is to share my truth, educate others and help them get to a place in their life where they too can love themselves. I now know that everything that God has allowed me to go through - and believe me HIV is just the tip of the iceberg - it’s all for a reason. It’s all to get me to this point where I am today: to try and help others, negative or positive, to focus less on the FRIGHT of HIV and more on the FIGHT of HIV because the reality of it is, we’re all in this together!
