Actress Nia Long has been relatively silent on social media since the bombshell news broke that her fiance, Ime Udoka, was caught in an affair with an employee on the Boston Celtics staff. The affair was reported consensual, but that didn’t stop the fact all eyes were on Udoka for cheating on the woman many considered to be the epitome of beauty for decades.
But leave it up to TMZ to find out what’s going on. The TMZ cameras caught up with Nia as she walked with her son Kez. “I don’t have any comment right now. I’m sorry,” she said when asked how she is doing in the wake of all the controversy.
When asked if she and Udoka are “working things out,” she laughed sarcastically.
Since then she has issued this bit of mental health advice via her Instagram that read:
“A tip for mental health…learn to distinguish who deserves an explanation, who deserves one answer, and who deserves absolutely nothing.”
Well, alrighty then!
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Udoka and Long, 51, have been engaged since 2015 and share 10-year-old son Kez. The duo’s relationship made headlines last month when The Athletic reported that Udoka had an “intimate and consensual relationship with a female member” of the Celtics staff after being hired as head coach in June 2021. According to the outlet, the franchise views the alleged affair as “improper” behavior that violates its code of conduct.
The team confirmed Udoka’s suspension on September 22. “The Boston Celtics announced today that the team has suspended Head Coach Ime Udoka for the 2022-23 season for violations of team policies,” read a press release. “A decision about his future with the Celtics beyond this season will be made at a later date. The suspension takes effect immediately.”
Coach Udoka addressed the controversy in a statement of his own. “I want to apologize to our players, fans, the entire Celtics organization, and my family for letting them down,” he said at the time. “I am sorry for putting the team in this difficult situation, and I accept the team’s decision. Out of respect for everyone involved, I will have no further comment.”
According to Us Weekly, the employee who allegedly engaged in an affair with the Boston Celtics coach, 45, is team service manager Kathleen Nimmo Lynch, a married mother of three.
When news of the cheating scandal initially broke, Lynch’s identity was kept secret and wasn’t out in the press. Since the news of her name coming out, she has yet to speak out publicly about the affair.
Along with Kez, the actress shares son Massai, 21, with ex Massai Z. Dorsey. Since Udoka got down on one knee, the Boyz n the Hood star has been candid about not wanting to rush to the altar.
“I understand the religious aspect of marriage. That is beautiful and it’s fantastical and it’s dreamy and it’s every girl’s fantasy to have that moment. But I don’t know that I need that,” she said during an appearance on Essence’s “Yes, Girl!” podcast in 2020. “Love is complicated, let’s just start there.”
Her words of advice are savy and ring true with mental health experts when it comes to spouses being unfaithful. Mayo Clinic gives these 4 suggestions:
Don’t make rash decisions.
If you think you might physically hurt yourself or someone else, seek professional help immediately.
Try to Take Care of Yourself.
You may have some physical reactions due to stress such as nausea, diarrhea, sleep problems (too little or too much), shakiness, difficulty concentrating, not wanting to eat, or overeating. Once the initial shock has passed, try your best to eat healthy foods, to stay on a schedule, to sleep regular hours, to get some exercise each day, to drink plenty of water, and, yes, to have some fun.
Avoid the Blame Game.
Blaming yourself, your partner, or the third party won’t change anything and it’s just wasted energy. Try not to play the victim, either, if you can help it, or wallow in self-pity. It will only make you feel more helpless and bad about yourself.
It can help to share your experience and feelings with trusted friends or loved ones who can support, encourage and walk along with you on your healing path. Avoid people who tend to be judgmental, critical or biased.
Some spiritual leaders have training and might be helpful. Consider seeing a well-trained, experienced marriage and family therapist alone or together.