For Liquid Soul’s Nick F.Nelson, a hectic pace is simply the norm. However, as a busy entertainment executive who has spearheaded marketing campaigns for high-profile television shows like “Empire” and ABC’s “black-ish,” as well as recently-released films including The Birth of a Nation and Queen of Katwe, the busy schedule eventually took a toll on him.
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In his new book, Stay Tuned: Balancing Faith, Family and Career Without Comprising You, Nelson addresses men who face the challenges of maintaining successful professional and personal lives and ways to find the balance. When he decided to write the book, Nelson, who previously served as caretaker for his late father and who now looks after his mother who has Alzheimer’s disease, he had a main goal in mind: “What I wanted to accomplish was for this to be a launch pad for purpose; I encourage everyone to identify with what their purpose is,” he says.
BlackDoctor.org spoke with Nelson to talk about the book and how men should “stay tuned” to their own lives, learn to balance the juggling act of coping with family and career, and maintain and strengthen their own well-being.
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On the disregard of professional men as caregivers:
The thing is [men] don’t talk about it. There are groups that women can go to for guidance and understanding but there’s really nothing like that for Black men. We’ll talk about sports or political issues and everything else except the things that are the most pressing to our hearts and minds because we don’t [tend to] trust. I felt it would be very important that this book be a kickoff for a wider conversation regarding these difficulties.
The changing role(s) of men in today’s society:
Nowadays, there are expanded expectations of professional men in terms of what we bring to the table—not just in terms of making money but also with things like picking up kids from practice, spending quality time with the family and being a nurturer—which is something new. When balancing all those things and maintaining our own happiness, sometimes, we feel like we give up so much of ourselves that nobody cares about how we’re doing or care about us. I encourage brothers to learn how to motivate themselves, be very much aware of their feelings and do something about it. Sometimes we’re out here just sleepwalking in our lives or are asleep at the wheel, and not paying attention to ourselves.
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On being neglectful of his health and well-being:
When I look at health, I look at it from three standpoints: physical, spiritual and mental. All three of those have to be in alignment. With my physical health, I’ve always had a challenge because I’ve had weight issues my entire life. It was my own fault because I didn’t exercise and I ate the wrong stuff. I made the decision [to improve my health] after seeing my father and all the challenges he was having.
On what caregivers should take away from the book:
I want people to know that it is okay to take care of others but you have to take care of yourself first. I call it being “unapologetically selfish”—and there are just times when you have to be that way. You have to be mindful of your health and spirit. If there are things that are bothering you, don’t be afraid to seek counseling from a pastor or a professional or a close friend whom you respect and trust. On the cover of the book, it says “Take back the remote control of your life”; this means don’t let other people dictate how your life goes. Don’t let anyone pull you in a different direction. Don’t give other people that control.
LaShawn Williams is a freelance writer and editor from Chicago, Illinois. She is an arts and entertainment enthusiast who has a serious thing for stand-up comedy, music and dance. Follow her on Twitter:@MsWilliamsWorld.
