trust schools, daycares, family and friends with our children for up to 40 hours a week or more.
Usually, after a sexual assault or inappropriate behaviors happen we as parents aren’t told but it is up to us to vet those who we trust with our children. In the case that the wrong person slips through the cracks we know the warning signs of abuse. At this time we need to get into action by removing them from the situation, and contacting authorities. We need to show them that they matter and we will do everything in our power to make the situation right.
Follow up counseling and private conversations are also very important to help your child emotionally process what they’ve experienced and help to ensure that a loss of self-esteem and security are restored. From what I have seen, a parent’s mismanagement during the aftermath of abuse can be just as damaging as the actual abuse. Love and Hip Hop star, Hazel E, was recently a guest on Iyanla Vanzant’s television show Iyanla Fix my life. While on the show she confides in the show’s host, telling her about her sexual assault experience as a child.
Outside of the horrible thing she experienced, the worst part was seeing her mother’s reaction. She told her child to be quiet and never speak of it and when confronted by the show’s host she acted oblivious to the fact that the abuse happened at all. Obviously, this lead to Hazel E acting out later as an adult and feeling unwanted, insignificant, and angry. Hazel’s mother could not have taken the pain of abuse away from her child but she could have eased her pain and not added to it by acting differently.
The Flipside – Prevention
I think we’ve all had conversations and read enough cautionary tales about protecting our children from predators or sketchy situations, so most of what I’ve said isn’t new. What isn’t as prevalent is conversations about