Every day I am approached by women and men across the globe with their sexual dysfunctions in hopes of receiving information to change their sex lives for the better. Recently, I received a letter from a woman who was a recent hysterectomy patient in search of solutions to restore her sex life to the standard she experienced before the surgery. Beyond her sexual sensations, she also had an issue with a part of her body image that she wanted my advice on improving. In hopes of helping her reach her desired goals, I responded in the best way possible with my level of expertise. If you are a woman dealing with a sex life after hysterectomy take a look at the letter that was sent my way and my suggestions on how to make her sexual experience a more pleasurable one.
Subject: Sex after hysterectomy
Dear Tyomi,
Why there isn't a lot of information on a sex after a woman has a hysterectomy? I had a good sex life until I had a hysterectomy.... now the only orgasm I get is thru clitoris massage. I still get wet but if not the same. I miss my old sex life but I'm glad I don't have the heavy periods anymore. My body sometimes feel like I could have a hard orgasm but I know it not there anymore. Any suggestions?? Sometimes I think once they removed it I lost some support to my anus because I'm extremely sensitive in that area. Any suggestions are welcome even to exercise because I have a large belly. I'm one of those women who stomach didn't bounce back after pregnancy. Thank you, Sincerely,
NB
Hey NB,
I’m glad to hear that your issue with heavy periods has now been remedied and you are experiencing more comfort in this area. Hysterectomy procedures are common and for many women the idea of having a sex life that becomes dampened after the surgery can be problematic. There is quite a bit of information out here about sex after having a hysterectomy, but it takes some digging. A part of the reason why you don't see much information may have to do with the lack of information obtained from first person accounts about the quality of sex after having the procedure completed.
Typically, if there isn't a lot of information published about a subject it's because there aren't many real life accounts that are taken or studies conducted on the topic. I have to be honest with you: this area isn't an area that I’m well versed in because I am not a gynecologist. I would advise you to speak to your gynecologist first about ways you can improve your sex life, but as far as my expertise will allow me to advise you, this is my set of advice to you:
- Remember that a piece of your natural anatomy has been removed, so your sexual experience will be different than before. Embrace this and become excited about discovering new ways to experience sexual pleasure.
- RELAX. Sometimes holding anticipation and expectation for your body to respond a certain way can cause your orgasm to drift further away from coming to its peak. Leave your expectations behind and go into the sexual experience with a relaxed mind and body. Enjoy the sensations you're feeling and let your body react how it desires. Flow with the moment.
- As far as your anal sensitivity is concerned, it's normal. The anus and vagina are parallel in position and are separated by a thin but strong wall. Sometimes during vaginal penetration your anus can also be stimulated simultaneously. With your uterus being removed your awareness of anal stimulation may have been heightened. Don’t be alarmed. This is normal and could prove to be a new area of exploration for you.
- Your ability to have the strong vaginal orgasms that you experienced before the procedure has definitely been affected by the hysterectomy. Yes, you still have the ability to orgasm but it is going to be your mission to find other ways to experience orgasm. There are several types of orgasms beyond vaginal and clitoral orgasms that can be as satisfying. There is a book I recommend you read and add to your collection. It's called "The Multiorgasmic Woman" and you can buy it here.
- Practicing regular kegels may help with bringing you more sensation to your vagina during sex, so contract and release your vaginal muscles often.
- Belly fat is one of the most difficult areas to target as far as weight loss is concerned, but the most important lifestyle change that aids in shaping this area is DIET. Fatty foods, excess sugars, lack of water and excessive carbs can add negatively to this area. Also, stress increases cortisol which makes it difficult for fat to be removed even with diet changes and exercise. Do the best you can at remaining stress free to avoid stubborn fat cells from growing and setting up camp around your abdomen. My best advice to you is to make sure that you are engaging in at least 30 minutes of high intensity cardio activity, whether it's riding a bike, jumping rope, running, Zumba or dancing, and to make some changes to your current diet. As far as ab work is concerned, here is a slideshow of 24 amazing workouts you can use to build up your core and reduce belly fat.
- My last piece of advice is to embrace your body where you are. Sometimes we seek change so much that we forget to be appreciative of where we are in the moment. Love your belly as it is. Imagine the stomach you want and believe that it can reach that standard you set through diet adjustments and daily workouts.
Experiment with various sex toys, breathing techniques and foreplay techniques to bring about different sexual sensations, and use different sex positions to switch things up. There are no limits to what you can do with your sex life other than the ones you set.
Again, I advise you to speak with your gynecologist about other ways you can increase your sex life especially in the case of having the cervix or upper part of the vagina removed during the hysterectomy. If your ovaries were also removed during the procedure, this could cause a drop in testosterone and estrogen which are important sex hormones. Estrogen contributes to maintaining the thickness, moisture and flexibility of vaginal tissue so tearing and painful sex may occur in the absence of ovaries. I hope the information I've provided here helps in some way.
All the best beautiful,
Tyomi
If you have any questions about your sex life or just need a listening ear email me at [email protected].
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Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.sexperttyomi.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi and the all-new “Glamazon Tyomi’s Sex Academy” radio show here.
