To Lurk Or Not: Tips To Protect Your Relationship From Social Media

couple on couch computerThere was a day when two people could be in a relationship and everything was kept between the two, but now we live in a world where relationship statuses, issues within relationships and intimate moments are shared in every waking detail on social media.  Keeping a healthy line of communication is one of the most important elements of a successful relationship, and sometimes information shared through Facebook, Twitter or Instagram can scramble lines of communication causing confusion and arguments.

If you are in a relationship where you and your partner keep tabs on each other through social media, here are a few tips on how to maintain a digitally social image without damaging your relationship.

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Establish open communication with your partner.

It’s very easy to find yourself lurking through your partner’s social media pages during a break from work or at night before drifting off to sleep to see exactly what he/she is doing on the world wide web, but this type of searching should never be your sole line of communication with your partner.

When you are with your partner in the physical, or when you are having a phone conversation with him/her, this is the time to ask the right questions and to establish a line of clear and open communication.  You shouldn’t have to log on to Facebook to hear that your partner hated the chicken dinner you made last night, or to discover that your partner wants out of the relationship.  Before publishing private thoughts about your relationship with the public, make sure that you are communicating directly with your partner to avoid arguments and frustrations later on. This should be a rule of thumb: If I haven’t spoken directly to my partner about it, then it shouldn’t be posted online.

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Establish what should be disclosed via social media.

Everything from baby births, to engagements and even relationship-threatening arguments are documented on social media as if writing in a journal. If social media is going to be a place where you both decide to document your relationship’s journey, have a conversation about what should and should not be disclosed to the world online. It is important to come to a compromising agreement with your partner about this type of communication to avoid mixed signals.

Don’t jump to conclusions.

During your comb through of your partner’s page, you may discover some things that you were never aware of, and naturally you may begin to jump to conclusions or assume things based upon the evidence in front of you.  Instead of flying off the handle at something that may not be in line with what you’ve discussed previously, bring your concerns to your partner calmly and talk about what you observed on your partner’s page.  You may find out that your assumptions where far off from the actual truth.

 

Visit the BlackDoctor.org Relationships center for more helpful articles and tips.

For more relationship advice from Tyomi, click here.