My Story: “Dangerously In Love And Almost Had A Stroke At 24”

… hanging on so hard to this relationship was killing me. I  was in denial when diagnosed. I said “Oh yeah, it’s just hereditary, I couldn’t have prevented this anyway.” I made myself powerless to avoid the truth that I had worn my body down staying in a toxic situation.

When I stopped denying the truth I knew the blood pressure medication and a strong self-care practice would be key factors in my healing journey. The medication was doing damage control and my self-care practice was re-wiring the thought patterns that kept me hurting myself for so long.

As a relationship coach, I tell my clients if you want to find a really beautiful relationship or you just want the relationship you’re in to last, – start living. Naturally, by your willingness to live, you connect with your partner (or potential partners) without having to desperately fight to hold on to them or seek them out.

READ: My Story: “I Had To Fight For Every Inch”

The biggest piece in turning my health around was forgiveness. Sometime after the separation, I noticed I couldn’t even talk about the situation without getting angry, which of course, raised my blood pressure.

Here are a few tips to help you with forgiving:

  • When you feel your mind running over the details of ‘what went wrong’ take a step back and repeat to yourself, “I forgive you and I release you.” Keep repeating until you feel your body and mind start to relax.
  • Allow yourself to remember a good moment from the experience.
  • Make a list of 20 things you can do that make you feel really good. Keep this list close to you so that when you find yourself backsliding, you have tangible actions at your fingertips to shift your mood.

This helped me get through heartbreak and high blood pressure to happiness and I hope it helps you, too.


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Rashida KhanBey is a relationship and intimacy expert for singles and couples. The key to vibrant and long lasting relationships is moving beyond self-doubt to clarity and confidence. Rashida uses a mix of metaphysical wisdom, practical tools and dance to help women find and keep romantic relationships they’ve always dreamed of experiencing. Connect with her at