loses two ways: you’ll think badly of him for unchivalrous behavior, and wonder why he was with such a no-good girlfriend in the first place.
3. The “Finale” Fight
When a breakup is inevitable, a guy doesn’t want to go out with shouts, insults, crying, and random appliance tossing. Even though this relationship may have not worked out the way either of you pictured, he doesn’t want it to end badly.
Why? Because there’s a big part of him that cares very much about his rep; he doesn’t want to be perceived as a bad guy, or a mean one, or some jerk who deserves to be hit by the cross-town bus next time he crosses the street.
Even if he wants an ending, he doesn’t want it to be a bad one – which is why many breakup-minded men try to make a soft landing back in the singles world: Slowly, gently, and perhaps unfairly as well.
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2. The “Wedding” Fight
Not the wedding fight, as in whether or not to have one. But fights, as in plural, the kind that happens between the first ring he puts on your finger, and the second.
He knows you want him involved in all the decisions big (who to invite) and small (what style napkins). He knows that “It’s up to you” is usually one of the “Five Things You Should Never Say to a Woman,” as this article artfully instructs (hint: make sure he reads and heeds it!).
But in this case, his acquiescence isn’t because he’s uninterested; it’s because he respects that this is your (and possibly your mother’s) big day, so enjoy it, do what you want, and don’t get mad because he won’t tell you if he prefers the buttercream icing or the marzipan.
1. The “Indecisive” Do-You-Want-Me-To-Come-Over Fight
Here’s how this one goes: You call or he calls you. You all are talking and he asks you. “What are you doing? I’m thinking about coming to see you” or “I want to see you”. But then, you the woman, try to make things a little bit more complicated by asking, “Do you want to come over?” Since he didn’t make a definitive statement, you may think it’s a ploy to get you to say that you really want to see him first or something.
Men still don’t really know what you mean. Here’s the lesson in all this: if you want to see us, say it. If not, say that too. Plain and simple. If we say we are thinking about coming to see you, that’s what we are doing. We want to see if it’s cool first. So yes, we want to see you too.
Moral of the story? Let the past be the past, say what you mean and mean what you say, and let’s figure this thing out together.
