Are you a good communicator? Communication is not just about what you say. In fact, most communication is like an iceberg: the majority of it is below the surface.
Most people have not taken time to answer the real questions, like:
- How am I feeling about the relationship / my partner right now?
- Am I open to expressing those feelings?
- Do I express what I feel in a healthy way?
- What feelings or thoughts have I been stuffing down or repressing about my partner / the relationship?
And this is destroying our ability to communicate with each other. Now, to be sure, men and women have different communication styles.
Men tend to be linear communicators. Women tend to be more nuanced in their communication. This is a generalization, but it holds true in most instances.
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On average, men tend to say what we mean literally and our communication style is not as subtle as our female counterparts. Sometimes this dynamic presents itself as the male partner not having great EQ (emotional intelligence).
Let’s face it, gents: we often miss the not-so-subtle but very real signals that our mates are giving us. Because of this difference in style, there are often communication gaps that can repeatedly thwart even our best attempts to get closer with our partner.
Both men and women struggle to communicate our needs because we are so busy being “in” the relationship that we don’t take time to work “on” the relationship.
Perhaps even more alarming is that because many of us don’t often ask ourselves “how do I feel about this relationship / this argument / this person?” we cannot possibly communicate those feelings to our partners. It’s the blind leading the blind!
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We often stuff down our feelings and repress the toxic emotions that threaten our stability because we think it will be better for the relationship if we don’t express them — but we only end up leaking toxic sewage everywhere. Learning to communicate by expressing your emotions in a healthy way is an essential component of deepening intimacy in a relationship.
In a relationship, we typically like to ‘touch’ one another. Whether it is through intimacy, or just holding hands, touch can communicate a lot about how each other is feeling. One workout that really forces open communication is partner towel curls. Check out a clip below:
In these exercises, not only are we….very close, we also have to communicate to our partner how much ‘tension’ there should be….and not just sexual tension. Without communicating how much tension is needed, the exercises won’t work. However, with clear communication, this is a fun and intimate exercise.
To experience more exercise like this, head over to strenghtofseduciton.com to get the full version
