Our Babies Aren’t 'Bad'—Understanding Autism in Black Children

From Misbehavior to Misunderstood

Let’s start with the truth: too many Black children—especially our Black boys—are being labeled as “bad,” “defiant,” or “disruptive” before they’re even given a chance to be understood. And when those behaviors are actually early signs of autism spectrum disorder (ASD), the consequences of mislabeling can be devastating.

Autism doesn’t always show up in the ways described in the textbooks—especially for Black children. Yet medical racism, cultural bias in schools, and a lack of culturally competent diagnostic tools mean our babies are often misdiagnosed—or not diagnosed at all.

According to the CDC, Black children are often diagnosed with autism later than white children and are more likely to be misdiagnosed with behavioral disorders like ADHD or conduct disorder.

That delay means missed early intervention, missed speech and social development windows, and missed chances for children to feel celebrated for who they are—not punished for how they communicate.

Early Signs and What to Look For

Autism is a spectrum, and its signs can vary. But for many Black children, especially boys, behaviors that are really neurological differences are often mistaken for disciplinary issues.

Early signs of autism in toddlers and young children may include:

Limited or no eye contact
Delayed speech or non-verbal communication
Intense reactions to changes in routine
Repetitive behaviors (flapping, rocking, lining up toys)
Fixation on specific interests or activities
Sensitivity to sounds, textures, or lights
Difficulty with social play or interaction

But here’s where it gets tricky: Black boys are often “masked” early on. They may learn to mimic expected behaviors at school while struggling silently, leading to confusion for parents and teachers. Or their stimming (repetitive movements) may be punished, not questioned.

Advocating at School and With Providers

Once you suspect your child may be on the spectrum, the first step is getting the right kind of support—and that often means advocating hard in spaces that aren’t built to serve us.

IEPs and the School System

An Individualized Education Plan (IEP) is a legally binding document that ensures your child receives accommodations. You can request an IEP evaluation in writing—you do NOT need to wait for a teacher to suggest it.

Under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), schools are required to evaluate children suspected of having a disability within 60 days of a written request.

Make sure your request is:

Written
Signed and dated
Specific about the behaviors you’re seeing and your concerns

Speech and Occupational Therapy (OT)

You can also push for speech and OT evaluations, especially if your child struggles with language, fine motor skills, or daily routines. Early therapy can be life-changing, helping your child build the tools they need to thrive.

Push Past Resistance from Providers

Unfortunately, many Black parents are told to “wait and see” when they raise concerns. But trust your gut. You don’t need permission to pursue clarity about your child’s development.

If your pediatrician dismisses your concerns:

Ask for a referral to a developmental pediatrician or child psychologist
Get a second opinion
Document every conversation

Your voice matters—because no one knows your child like you do.

Black Parents as Fierce Advocates

Black families are out here fighting for diagnoses, fighting for services, and fighting for understanding. And we shouldn’t have to fight so hard. But history has shown us that our children are often viewed through a lens of punishment, not possibility.

That’s why Black parents are some of the fiercest advocates out here. Parents like:

Maria Davis-Pierre, founder of Autism in Black, who helps families navigate autism with culturally competent support
Dr. Jamilah Jor’dan, whose work centers on Black children’s development and early learning
Thousands of parents in private Facebook groups, support collectives, and community networks who are doing the work daily

You don’t need to be an expert—you just need to be unafraid to ask questions, demand answers, and advocate for your child’s joy.

Reframing the Conversation With Love

Autism is not a tragedy. It is not a disease to be “cured.” It is a difference in how a person processes the world—and when we understand that, we move from fixing to supporting.

Your child may move differently, speak differently, or connect differently—but that doesn’t make them any less brilliant, worthy, or whole.

Neurodivergence is not a flaw. It’s a form of human diversity.

We need to stop treating “normal” as the goal and start treating support, understanding, and joy as the priorities.

This begins with language:

Instead of “disorder,” say “difference”
Instead of “high functioning” or “low functioning,” say “support needs”
Celebrate special interests instead of pathologizing them

Words matter. Our kids are listening—even when they can’t yet speak.

Building a Community Around Your Child

You don’t have to go through this alone. There is a whole community of Black parents, educators, therapists, and autistic adults who are here to support you and your child.

Where to Start:

Autism in Black – Virtual support, coaching, and advocacy tools
The Color of Autism Foundation – Parent support programs tailored to Black families
Neurodivergent Liberation Coalition – Advocacy with a focus on racial justice
Local Facebook groups or regional Black autism support collectives
Podcasts like Parenting on the Spectrum and Autistically Black

You deserve safe spaces where your child isn’t judged—and where you aren’t either.

Our Babies Deserve More Than Labels

Let’s be clear: Black children are not more defiant, more aggressive, or more delayed. They’re simply more likely to be misunderstood.

The systems weren’t built to see them in their full humanity. But that’s why we build systems of care, love, and support around them. We shift the conversation from “What’s wrong with my child?” to “How can we meet them where they are?”

Let your child be different. Let them be themselves. And let the world make room. Because there is no one way to be brilliant—and neurodivergent Black kids deserve every chance to thrive.

By Dominique Lambright | Published April 8, 2025