Don’t let influence, influence you.
According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, approximately one-half of all sexual assaults involve alcohol consumption by either the perpetrator, victim, or both. Because alcohol can impair judgment, cognitive and motor skills, a person cannot give consent while under the influence of alcohol.
“If you are too drunk to drive a car, you are too drunk to drive your genitals. Drunk, high or sleeping people can’t give consent,” said Langford.
Age is not just a number.
Many people make the assumption that having sex with someone who’s close in age is ok. But, the legal age of consent varies from state to state and a person under a certain age cannot give consent.
“[In Indiana] Sexual conduct with a child less than 14 years of age is child molesting. But there is no minimum age for a person to be a child molester. So any child capable of forming a criminal intent may molest a younger child. Children as young as 10-years-old have been charged with sex offenses,” said Laurie Gray, an experienced trial attorney and child advocate.
A woman you haven’t committed to owes you nothing. Even after commitment, her body is still her own.
It’s important for boys to know that consent needs to be given before every sexual encounter, even if they’ve already had sex with the person or if that person is their girlfriend.
“Consent is a process, not a goal… Giving consent once does not mean they can’t say “No” later. Yes, even if you are in a relationship with someone or they’ve let you do stuff before – you still need to ask each time. People get to say, “No,”anytime – even if they’ve already said, yes,” said Langford.
Sex without consent is sexual assault.
Assault is shame. It is humiliation and isolation. A few minutes of pleasure isn’t worth a lifetime of a girl being unable to see herself as worthy because she may have been afraid to speak up for herself.
It’s not worth suicide, drug abuse, nor the depression many victims experience after being sexually assaulted, according to the Rape Abuse Incest National Network. And it’s not worth jail time or your son having to register as a sex offender because he had a misunderstanding of consent – whether it be neglecting to verify age, having sex under the influence of a controlled substance, or coercion.
Last but not least, clothes don’t speak.
What a girl was wearing, during the time of the assault, is often brought up as evidence of her “asking for it.” Regardless of how sexy, revealing, or provocative someone’s clothing may seem, it’s never an invitation to violate the body underneath the clothes. We have to teach boys to respect girls, regardless of what they are wearing.
“Clothes are not a risk factor. The only risk factor is the presence of a rapist. And really, if the issue was about perpetrators not being able [to] control themselves around women dressed in revealing clothing, then rates of sexual assault at beaches, pools, and fashion shows would be out of control,” according to Consented, an organization working towards a world without sexual violence.
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