Who’s REALLY To Blame When Men Cheat?
Why do men cheat? It is an age old question that has been the inspiring catalyst for many published books and articles around the world, and now social media commentary. In a recent exclusive interview with CNikky, Tina Campbell of the gospel duo turned reality-TV stars Mary Mary believes her dominating ways and making her husband “feel small” compared to the demands of their family and her career contributed greatly to her husband’s infidelity.
“I, Tina, assume full responsibility for the issues that I contributed to the relationship,” she said. “I was controlling, talked too much. And you can never be heard over me because when I want to talk I got the floor and ain’t nobody gonna get it from me until I give it up.” According to Tina, “That was the way it was and I have to work on myself. You know I mean? I was selfish.”
Both parties in a relationship must own up to personal responsibility and just like each situation is different, there are a plethora of reasons why men choose to step outside of their relationships to pursue someone else. Here are five of the top reasons why men cheat.
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The opportunity presented itself.
When a man is offered a good thing, it’s hard for him to turn it down, especially when it comes packaged as hot, unrestricted sex on a platter. Men often use the excuse of “I’m a man and it’s just how we are” to cover up for situations such as these, but they are somewhat validated in this statement. By nature, men are meant to spread their seed to populate the earth, and their sexual desires to seek and destroy can sometimes get the best of them. So when there is a fine woman giving him all the signals that she is ready to get down and dirty, chances are he might just take her up on the opportunity if he simply cannot hold back his urges.
His sex life within the relationship is horrible.
An inadequate sex life is one of the top reasons for why men cheat. It may seem like such a small thing to betray one’s trust over, but sexual interaction is the base of any romantic relationship. When his needs aren’t being met and he has expressed his dissatisfaction, a man who has had enough (or isn’t getting enough) will begin to have those desires to seek and find another woman who can do the job for him. Sure, self pleasuring is always an option, but when there are 10 women to every 1 man why have sex alone when there is a plethora of options just waiting to be explored? At least, that is the thinking of a man that is fed up and horny looking for a solution to his problem.
Excessive arguing/nagging from his partner.
There is one thing that men hate more than shopping with their significant other, and it is the irritating nagging/petty arguing that tends to happen within a relationship. Nagging about what hasn’t been done around the house as soon as he is home from work or getting into arguments just because it is Wednesday can drive any man mad and right out of the door into the arms of another woman who knows how to make him feel appreciated, adored and needed instead of just tolerated.
It gives him an ego boost.
Everyone loves attention and it’s no different for a man within a relationship. Some men in committed situations can take a compliment from a woman outside of his relationship and put it on the shelf, appreciating what he has at home. But, others who already have a spark of intrigue will revert back to a single mindset and take the bait as a way to gain some validation. Simply put, some men cheat for the sake of proving to themselves that they still have the “juice” when it comes to attracting women and putting on the moves. It is a boost for his self-esteem that has nothing to do with what may be missing in the relationship, but rather a personal quest of gratification. I like to call it “self-stroking of the ego”.
He has fallen out of love.
Love, like many other feelings or emotions, can be a fleeting thing especially when a relationship has been rushed and has no solid friendship at its foundation. We all go through swings when it comes to our emotions, so when it comes to love it is quite easy to fall out of that feeling of admiration and desire. When the burning fire that is love has been snuffed out, some men don’t know how to communicate these changes for fear of breaking hearts and hurting feelings. So instead, they go forward in the relationship as if everything is fine, but now with a piece on the side. People change, feelings change, but when these differences arise, they should be communicated and spoken about to avoid betrayal of trust and respect.
Visit the BlackDoctor.org Relationships center for more.