Is it just me, or does anyone else think that sex has become so extremely overrated? Okay, allow me to clarify. Sex is great! It is an amazing, intimate experience when it’s shared with the person you love. It’s a form of intimacy, but it shouldn’t be considered the entire sundae; it should be the “cherry on top”. I’ve learned that unlike the generation I grew up in, sex has become overpopulated in our schools, media, and tv — everybody wants to do “it”.
We know sex is this complicated, multi-tiered subject and deserves to be dissected before indulging straight in. So, when it comes to dating, like, actually getting to know someone, do we want to complicate that even the more by adding sex to it? While intercourse is a highly tempting thing, there are other ways to express and share intimacy, especially while dating.
Emotional Intimacy: Learning someone and their mind; falling in love with their personality and listening to their innermost thoughts can create an undeniable closeness. The goal, when we are dating, is learning someone. Simply having conversations about life, things we love/dislike, what makes us happy/sad, the joys and pains of our childhood, can open doors to honesty and build bridges of trust needed for the relationship to advance.
In dating, this can look like going out for ice cream and sharing personal experiences; discussing our passions and things we advocate for. This can heighten our interest in someone and draw us closer to them. We learn to “like” people based on our emotional intimacy. It’s easy to have sex with someone and not like them. But, where’s the experience in that? There’s nothing there ensuring it could potentially be long term. When you actually like the person you’re choosing to be sexually intimate with, it makes the sex that much better. And that in itself is a powerful thing.
Experiential Intimacy: Experiences! What better way to grow connected to someone than