Maneuvering the dating scene as a grown woman can come with any number of frustrations. I’ve listed five of the most common and how to turn the tables. Trust me, you are not alone!
1. Feeling Like Men Have the Upper Hand
Do you feel like you are always competing because there are so many more options out there for Black men seeking Black women versus the other way around? This is possibly one of the biggest complaints many Black women have, some of which is truly out of your control.
What you can do is try and work on your perspective. Figure out what your best qualities are and work to really let those shine through. It will not only build your confidence, but it will also make you stand out amongst the large pool of women.
2. Where Do the Singles Mingle?
Once you hit a particular point in your life the club and bar scene can become too cumbersome to partake in on the regular. So where do you go to find eligible men? A lot of women complain that if they aren’t willing to go to the club, they have a difficult time finding single Black men.
Why not try some themed gatherings through your local organizations like church, sorority/fraternity, and charities for example. These offer great themed activities where you can meet people with similar interests that are single. Activities such as ski trips, cruises, game nights and conferences are just a few ideas that can put you in the right place at the right time to meet Mr. Right.
3. No One Wants Real Commitment
How often do you hear a woman complaining that she doesn’t understand where her relationship is headed? It’s as if many women have grown to expect to have to weather through what I deem the “grey area period”. I think we sell ourselves too short on this issue too often. There is nothing wrong with setting the tone and your expectations early on; you just have to do it in a way that doesn’t come across as demanding.
If you are seeking a serious relationship, let that be known in the beginning. More often than not, when you let a man know upfront what you are looking for those that aren’t in the position to or aren’t interested in meeting those needs, they will cancel themselves out. The other side of this is we need to listen to a man when he tells us early on what he is looking for as well. Women have a tendency to convince themselves that though a man says he is just seeking something casual, we can change his mind. Don’t allow yourself to get caught on that train to disappointment.
4. Surrounded by Dysfunctional Relationships
Feel like everyone around you in a relationship is in an unhealthy one? That wouldn’t be surprising if it is true. There are more than a few people in piss-poor relationships. It seems like nowadays there are more relationships built on insecurities, complacency, and dependence than there are ones built on respect, friendship and love.
The caveat to this is, if you have been around these types of relationships long enough, then you hopefully have forgone