No matter how great a marriage is, all marriages go through ups and downs. For real. Some people’s first thought when a relationship gets hard is toh3qe to divorce. Even at one time in the U.S. divorce was at a 50% high. You need to Divorces are decreasing — but so are marriages. And sometimes that’s not by choice. Experts say marriage trends represent progress toward a system in which marriage is rarer, and more stable, than it was in the past, representing an increasingly central component of the structure of social inequality.
Reports from the Pew Research Center say: “Half of Americans ages 18 and older were married in 2017 [which] is down 8 percentage points since 1990,” it notes. Pew says this is because Americans are staying single longer, but the organization didn’t weigh in on whether that’s by choice (to travel and establish a career before getting married), or, if economic conditions mean life isn’t stable enough to get married earlier, by necessity.
Black and Married With Kids released this list of questions couples can ask themselves before they call it quits:
1. Are you happy? Why or Why Not?
2. Can we pray over our marriage?
3. When do you think our marriage changed?
4. Why do you think our marriage changed?
5. How do you think we arrived here?
6. Am I the spouse you thought I’d be? Why or why not?
7. Have I changed in your opinion? If so, what do you think has changed most?
8. Do you think you’ve changed? If so, what do you think has changed most?
9. Do you think enough sacrifices are being made from both of us? Why or why not?
10. What sacrifices do you think I’ve made for the marriage?
11. Are there sacrifices do you think you’ve made for the marriage?
12. What vision did you have for our marriage?
13. What do you think is preventing that vision from happening?
14. How have I played a role in us being in this space?
15. What role do you think you play in us being in this space?
16. Do you still want this marriage, why or why not?
17. Are you willing to help me in fighting for our marriage?
18. Have we done everything possible to save our marriage?
19. Do you know just how much you are loved?
20. Do you know that I trust you?
Divorce isn’t the only option for our marriage, what solutions do you think we can come up with together to get back
to our happy place?
What are you willing to do to help save us?
Naturally, these 20 questions are just the beginning of the journey to get your marriage back on track. Find and use resources by professionals and organizations that specialize in coaching and counseling troubled couples. If your marriage is in trouble, don’t let it be one of the statistics. Fight for it and encourage your spouse to do the same.