If you’re taking cues from reality TV, chances are you think therapy is a last resort effort to restore sanity. The only truth is, everyone experiences periods of stress, sadness, grief and conflict. In fact, one in five American adults suffers from some form of mental illness. However, due to the stigma and many myths attached to treatment, especially for Black Americans, only about 45-65 percent with moderate-to-severe impairment get the help they need, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).
But, we get it. Our society has us programmed to believe that if we work hard, everything else will fall into place. Log into this app and watch all your worries melt away. Take an “Eat, Pray, Love” trip around the world and return a brand new you. Suffering from anxiety? Try yoga. While these options may work to a certain extent (for a while), in some situations, we’re just not equipped with the know-how to make it through the rain.
Aside from restless suffering, those who go untreated and are in distress may actually make the problem worse by avoiding professional help. While, on the flip side, science tells us that speaking our fears and goals out loud to someone (preferably in person) can be a powerful tool for overcoming emotional pain. So, how does one know when it’s time to seek therapy?
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How do I know when I need to see a therapist?
Here are five signs you need a therapist:
1. Everything you feel is intense.
Ever felt like you’re on an emotional roller coaster? While it’s totally normal to feel angry and sad, if you regularly feel overcome with anger, anxiety, grief, or guilt this may be a sign of an underlying issue.
In a 2013 study published in the journal JAMA Psychiatry, 54 percent of people with depression reported feeling hostile, grumpy, argumentative, foul-tempered or angry.
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In fact, when untreated, frequently having a short fuse can significantly impair your ability to function; whether it be at home, work, or in school.
RELATED: Why You Don’t Have To Be “Crazy” To Go See a Therapist
2. Avoidance is your default.
If you’ve begun to cope with life by avoiding it altogether, you’ve basically become a walking, talking, ticking time bomb. Whether you’re avoiding a co-worker, a dysfunctional family member, or even your spouse, a therapist may suggest role play.
By playing out a difficult conversation, this form of therapy will teach you how to recognize the signs you need a therapist, more effective ways to communicate and sensitivity to others’ viewpoints.
3. You mentally beat yourself up.
Some of the kindest and considerate people have a secret war waging inside of them. While they may ooze self-confidence on the outside, inside, nothing they do is good enough.
They may even relive their mistakes over and over, preventing them from moving forward. One therapy technique that may help here is called “externalizing.” Often used in “narrative therapy,” individuals will learn to separate problems from self, seeing them as two different entities rather than character flaws.
4. You’ve given up.
On your appearance, that is. According to a 2014 survey of more than 10,000 people, 61 percent of participants with poor oral health reported they were suffering from depression. The more dental issues they had, the more severe the depression was.
Maybe you’ve stopped combing your hair, doing your make-up, or wearing the same pair of jeans all week. Chances are your disinterest in your personal appearance is telling on you. Seek treatment sooner rather than later.
RELATED: 3 Benefits of Seeing a Black Therapist
5. You’ve had one too many drinks…often.
Research tells us that nearly one-third of people with depression also have an alcohol problem. While having one cocktail can take the edge off a long day at the office, a second or third can intensify negative emotions like anger and anxiety, both and signs of depression and that you need to see a therapist.
It’s important to note that you don’t have to be a raging alcoholic to experience substance abuse. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the healthy limit is one drink per day for women and two drinks per day for men.
