Have you ever been out on a date, feeling uneasy, with the only thought to cross your mind being: “When will this be over?”
We get it, and what’s worse is when one or both parties is a bit awkward. Not knowing how to carry a conversation, being unable to grasp a joke, or having unapproachable body language are all things that may leave a less-than-favorable impression.
First dates are never the easiest and can cause a lot of anxiety for both parties. We want to help. We have a list of tips that will help you get through your first couple of dates and a list of questions that are sure to spark quality conversation.
Let’s start with 7 tips to use on a first date.
1. Remember To Have Fun
Worry less about impressing your date and more about having a good time. Having a naturally good time is more likely going to leave a better impression than what you spend. After all, you want your date to get to know the real you.
2. Talk About Something That May Interest Your Date
While your date may be interested in getting to know you, it’s not your show. Try to make your conversation engaging, centering it around things that you know your date might enjoy. Pay attention and you’ll be able to pick up on clues of what this may be.
3. Give Compliments, But Don’t Overdo It
It’s nice to receive compliments, but it gets awkward when the compliment floodgates swing open, which is exactly what we want to avoid. Try to get your point across and flatter your date without making them feel uncomfortable, focusing on things like their smile, or a detail that would normally be missed (earrings, shoes, scent).
4. Choose A Location That Allows For Conversation
While movie dates and concerts are great, these can be saved for later. You want to pick a place that isn’t too noisy so you can actually hear one another. You also want to be free from distractions so the conversation can flow without too many interruptions. Museums, dinner, and Sip ‘N Paints are all good ideas.
5. Don’t Overthink The Date
Of course, you want to put some thought into it. You want to be thoughtful of how you look, smell, and where you take your date, but you don’t want to overthink every small thing to the point where you begin to experience anxiety. As in life, everything is about balance. Try not to read into every single word and gesture. Overthinking, in most cases, contributes to self-sabotage so try to keep it cool.
6. Be Confident
Know who you are, what you like, and what makes you a great catch. It’s not all about impressing your date. Just like a job interview, you want to make sure this prospect is a good match for you too!
7. Ask Open-Ended Questions
This means you want to ask thought-provoking questions. Steer clear of the questions that can be answered with a simple short answer, “yes” or “no”, because those types of questions make it more challenging to keep a conversation flowing.
As promised, we have provided a list of great questions to ask when dating. Again, you’re staying away from questions that can be answered with short answers. If you do ask a short answer question, you want to be sure to ask follow-up questions. eHarmony.com, one of the leading online dating platforms, provides 19 questions to help break the ice on a first date. Feel free to use some of these on your next date!
- Who are the most important people in your life?
- What makes you laugh?
- Where is ‘home’?
- Do you read reviews, or just go with your gut?
- Do you have a dream you’re pursuing? What is it?
- What do your Saturdays usually look like?
- Where did you grow up, and what was your family like?
- What’s your big passion?
- What’s the most interesting job you’ve ever had?
- Do you have a special place you like to visit regularly?
- What’s your signature drink?
- What’s the best meal you’ve ever had?
- In which television show’s world would you most want to live?
- What’s on your bucket list?
- What toppings are needed to create the perfect burger?
- What’s the most embarrassing concert you’ve ever attended?
- What’s your most valuable possession?
- Who’s the most fascinating person you know?
- What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done? The scariest?
These are simply tools and examples of what may work to help you, or someone you know, break the ice and move past nervousness on their first date. The point is to just get started and trust your gut. One of the best ways to limit your awkward interactions is to get out there, get started, and keep practicing.