Sistas of a certain age now is your time. You have worked hard and sacrificed. You succeeded in jumping through hoops just to get what you need while doing more with less or sometimes without altogether. You were successful in raising the bar and breaking through glass ceilings, leaving things better for daughters in the struggle and all people of color. Nevertheless, you still have certain unresolved feelings as you go through menopause. Biologically, it marks the passing of reproductive years. Personally, it can mean (re)claiming power to thrive for decades to come and continuing to bloom where you’re planted or choosing to move on.
1. More free, less restricted
There are no people you must please other than yourself. At this stage, you’re done with putting restrictions on yourself to do or be who and what others think you should be. There’s freedom in this.
You repossess control of your life and yourself by limiting others’ influence, supposed constructive criticism, or even hard, cold judgment. This makes you stronger and braver: a force to be reckoned with. Embrace this new you! If not now, then when? If never, why not?
2. More open, less inhibited
As ladies with this new self after the change of life, we open in all the important ways. We open our minds. We open our mouths. We may open our hearts. But we guard our feelings. Some amount of self-protection is a must when we are baring our vulnerabilities and speaking our truths. The important thing is we are willing to open up in the first place about who we are and what that means.
Even if we are not rewarded for our true worth in the workplace, we still deserve a place at the table. We have a value that counts apart from our jobs or careers.
We are worthy because we are; we matter to ourselves and our loved ones in our inner circle. And that’s what counts most. It completes the definition of who we are. It lays the foundation for who we can become.
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3. More of who we were meant to be
Recognize and resolve the reality that this may be the last time to make it count before we lack the stamina and health to realize the dreams of who we thought we could be.
In most cases, we have all we need to be the highest quality true self we were meant to be. We may not become brain surgeons or astronauts, but we can show up and show out for faith, friends, family, and for ourselves. We can make a difference in our community as voters, volunteers, and vice presidents.
4. A greater catalyst for change
We feel most powerful when we are the truest version of what is our best self. We are most authentic when we are true to ourselves and what we believe in.
When we stand up for what’s right or what we believe in, we change the world…our world, by doing what is most necessary to better it. This is how we as Black women make a difference: from the inside out.
By stepping outside of what is comfortable for what is called for, we set off a reaction of small changes that evolve into bigger ones; quiet and reserved at first, then outstandingly vocal with calling for undeniably recognizable needs as essential elements for everyday life for everyone, lifting the silence of those without a voice.
5. Wise women and the legacy of lived experience
After menopause, we are new beings who, with or without children from the womb, can leave behind a legacy of lived experience for children of the present and offspring in the future. We can focus on changing one thing that will have a ripple effect beyond measure, greater than we will ever know.
Gender and sexuality do not trap us or hold us back. We are free to set forth visions grounded in hope. We have waited for such a moment of carved-out peace without compromise to nurture, birth, and cultivate dreams and people.
Education is no barrier if you want to get some. Wealth is not blocked if you work to build some. And social standing is not outside of your grasp if you build up those around you.