You know that feeling that you’ve got a long way to go to get to where you “should’ve been” by now? *extends arms for a hug* Bring it in. It’s a heavy mental burden that many of us carry at some point, whether in our careers, relationships, or personal goals. It can be super frustrating, but you don’t have to feel like a failure—not today. Follow these tips to help you get back on track and reclaim your sense of purpose and motivation.
Define what success means to you
Success is not a one-size-fits-all concept, so trying to live up to someone else’s idea of success will only make you miserable in the long run. Your parent’s idea of success for you might look like becoming a doctor or earning the highest degree possible, while yours might be a happy family, a sense of adventure, or simply contentment. Think about what you want to achieve in life, no matter how simple or far-fetched it may seem to others. Now focus on that with all your might. Straight tunnel vision.
Write down how far you’ve come
You’ve come so far in this life, and that alone is a win. But it’s easy to forget how far we’ve come while chasing the next big thing. Take a moment to reflect on every achievement you can remember and write it down. This is such a powerful exercise and eye-opener. Those “small” wins may seem like a thing of the past today, but they were probably a big deal to you when you first accomplished them.
Make it a habit to reflect on how far you’ve come (whether pen and paper or digitally) and continue to document your ongoing progress. Watch your list grow longer and more impressive over time. This will leave you with visual evidence of what you’re capable of and motivate you to keep going.
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Watch the company you keep
As much as we sometimes hate to admit it, the people we surround ourselves with can heavily influence how we feel and behave. Your choice of friends and acquaintances can either motivate and inspire you to catch up or leave you feeling stagnant and behind in life—family included.
Seek out friends and mentors who encourage you; positivity is contagious and will push you to stride forward.
Don’t let the internet rush you
Social media is a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it links us with the rest of the world and provides useful information and even inspiration. On the other hand, it can create a false sense of urgency and pressure to meet unrealistic standards.
It’s crazy how we endlessly scroll on these apps, absorb strategically placed content, and race to nowhere (i.e., whatever we think our internet peers have accomplished) solely based on what is posted.
Almost everything online can be altered, from looks to achievements, so never rush your real-life progress based on a curated feed. This growth is personal.
Do meaningful work
Meaningful work doesn’t have to be limited to your career; it can be volunteer work, a personal project, or even helping someone in need. The sense of purpose derived from making a positive impact on others can be incredibly fulfilling and motivating. You’ll start to see your life journey as a purpose-driven path rather than a race against time.
Learn something new
A great way to reignite your sense of progress is by learning something new. It could be a new skill or diving into a subject that’s always fascinated you. This is a great way to keep your mind active, boost confidence, and open up new possibilities for personal growth.
The more you learn, the less “behind” you’ll feel.
Stop hating on yourself
Self-criticism is a common trap we fall into when we feel behind, to the point where even when we are making progress, it’s hard to acknowledge it for what it is. Remember, you are your own worst critic, and those negative thoughts will only hold you back. Forgive yourself for not having it all together right now (because none of us do).
Try practicing self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you’d offer a close friend. You are worthy of that.
Take ownership of your life and future outcomes by meeting yourself right where you are in this moment. Use these tips to develop a positive mindset and tune out negative thoughts and comparisons. You’ll find yourself feeling less behind and more on track each day.