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I spoke with Eboni Harris, a relationship expert and host of “Room Relations,” to get the lowdown on how to perform where it’s warm. Brothers, it’s not one size fits all, but there are some techniques that will make every woman splash waterfalls.
What are men doing wrong when performing oral sex?
Eboni: Women tend to have many complaints when it comes to oral sex. The main complaint is when men do not seem interested in performing the act. If a man does not seem eager to perform cunnilingus, women will know. She can tell because:
- He’s not paying attention to whether or not she is enjoying it.
- He’s trying to reach a goal opposed to pleasuring her.
- He appears as if he’s trying to check a box to make sure it is reciprocated.
Another complaint is being too aggressive in the act. This means that you are attacking the labia and clitoris as opposed to strategically caressing it. There needs to be some intention in the act.
What techniques do women love?
Eboni: Just like men, women want men to enjoy going down on them. Although variety is always good, men should be intentional in what they are doing. Focus on the clitoris but then make sure the whole area gets attention. There is a little debate between flat and firm tongue vs. soft and fluttery so to be safe, just try both and see how her body reacts.
What position is the best position to perform oral sex?
Eboni: The standard position of the woman on her back is always a good choice. It’s a comfortable position for both parties and easy to maneuver if necessary. That said, every woman has enjoyed (or desired)…
… a man to pull off her panties and sit her on the kitchen counter.
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What can her body language tell you?
Eboni: The biggest lesson you can ever learn when it comes to oral sex is to follow her lead. A woman will let you know where she wants you and how she wants it. If she is shifting her pelvis, more than likely it is to get into a more comfortable and pleasurable position. As she shifts, hold your position and tempo and let her find the sweet spot. Pay attention to breathing and tension in her abdomen. As the heart rate increases due to excitement, breathing becomes shallow and stomachs tense up. Lastly, if she pulls away it’s because something hurts or is too intense. Allow her space to readjust and then… get back to it.
Are there any accessories that add to the pleasure of oral sex?
Eboni: Fingers are the best addition to oral sex. Whether there is a finger or two inside or rubbing the clitoris while you focus your tongue elsewhere, your hands should be involved in the act. There is always an option to use a small vibrator, such as a Bullet, to stimulate the area. This can result in a much quicker orgasm. For couples that trust each other, restraining the hands can add some spice to the act.
For more expert advice from Eboni Harris, visit her site, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and subscribe to her YouTube channel.