On a daily basis young girls are inundated with pictures of fake camera angles, fake smiles, fake hair, fake bodies and social media filters on social media that make it nearly impossible to live up to those fraudulent beauty standards.
So what would you do if your little girl called herself ugly?
For me, it would be heartbreaking. You know this miracle that the Creator has blessed you with is perfect in all its forms and you know your child is not ugly at all. If anything your child is beautiful in all ways.
That’s exactly what Atlanta-based hairstylist Shabria aka Lil Wave Daddy had to deal with when she went live on Instagram while doing a young client’s hair. The video has since gone viral and has had over tens of millions of views.
While getting her hair done by Shabria, the 4-year-old beauty, Ariyonna, called herself ugly and Shabria immediately went into action uplifting the young queen.
I would probably react the same way Shabria reacted, “Don’t say that! Don’t say that. You are so pretty!” is what the mom said. And then she goes on to share all of the attributes that make her pretty, like her “beautiful chocolate skin” and “cute dimples”
WARNING: You may need tissues. I’ve watched this video at least five times and it honestly has made me cry each and every time.
So when our Forever First Lady, Michelle Obama got hold of the video, she also took to her social media to reaffirm her beauty.
“Ariyonna, you are gorgeous” she wrote. “In a world that sometimes tries to say otherwise, I want to tell you—and every other beautiful, intelligent, brave black girl—just how precious you are.”
Our society is constantly imposing standards of beauty upon us, shaming us for our inevitable differences. Even if you must be a black woman, you are pressured to…
… at least appear as white as possible. The lighter the skin, the straighter the hair, the closer you come to meeting the standards. That way you can at least be “pretty for a black girl.” It’s acceptable to look a little “black” but not too much. We live in a world in which skin is lightened with creams and computer programs. And bodies are digitally altered to have a bigger butt, smaller waist and more “alluring” features.
Black beauty and self-love by a Black girl is only acceptable in certain contexts or in small doses. Keep the full lips, leave the coarse, high-maintenance hair. Cornrows are called edgy, innovative, and epic when the braids are above a whiter face, but are “rachet” or ghetto on a black girl. Only when bearing the seal of approval from high profile celebrities and style icons are these features deemed acceptable or beautiful.
So if you see someone not believing in their own #BlackGirlMagic and beautiful Black skin, what should you do?
Simple change the narrative and share just how God created her to be: to be herself, to love herself, and to reign.
And why is it so important? Massachusetts teacher and singer Lovely Hoffman probably said it best.
“There is a strong correlation between self-esteem and student achievement,” Hoffman said. “As an educator, I believe it is my duty to not only ensure students are reaching their potential academically, but that they are also comfortable and confident in their own skin. It’s about educating the whole child.”