As her dancing career was taking off, Dnay B. was in a relationship with someone who was ready to take their relationship to the next level. “He was ready for marriage, he was ready for a baby and I wasn’t at that level yet,” explains the Harlem native. “I’m in the prime of my career and I can’t just walk away and give it all up. You don’t want to be with somebody who has a bunch of what ifs or shouldas, couldas. And as a result of that, that caused the relationship to really go sour.”
While Dnay was flourishing on stage with Beyoncé and other artists including Kelly Rowland, Tinashe, Jason Derulo and more, her relationship with falling apart. “He just got angry. He was angry with me for choosing my career and choosing myself over anything else,” said Dnay. “That turned into him verbally say things or he would stay away from me for a long period of time. Or when he did come around it was never joyful. It got to the point where I was like I cannot be stressed at work because I’m working really hard. I’m working these long hours and then I coming home to what’s supposed to be my safe haven and I’m stressed out there. Because of that, I just couldn’t do it anymore.”
The turning point for Dnay was a friend asking her if he never changed, would she be ok with that. The answer was no and she knew it was time for her to choose herself. “I bought him a plane ticket and told him he had to go. I told him, ‘You have to get out of here. You cannot stay here. You can’t keep stressing me out.’”
And then the healing process began. “I had to walk away from this five-year relationship. I’ve known him since I was 13 years old. He was my high school sweetheart and best friend. We’ve always been in contact, so it was really just coming to terms that the relationship is dead.”
“I did a lot of crying. I did a lot of praying. I had a lot of conversations with my parents because I needed their support. I had a lot of conversations with my friends. A lot of wine. It was really hard up until that moment of no I’m done. I can’t do this anymore,” explained Dnay. “It was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever gone through. We were rehearsing for Formation and I’m going to work every day, putting on a smile and nobody knows what you’re going through at home. Everyone was like, “Dnay you’re great,” but it’s like, if you only knew that once I take this mask off I’m going home and I’m dealing with my real true life issues. I read The Wait by Devon Franklin and Meagan Good. That book really helped me a lot.
Ending her relationship right before the Formation Tour was hard, but she knew it was necessary for her growth. “There’s so many people who would love to be in my position. And that just reminded me that this was just one season. This is one test, one part of you. It’s not here to break you, it’s here to help you go to the next level of who you are. It’s to help you grow.”
And that’s what she did. The Formation Tour challenged her mentally and physically. “I’m not a technical dancer. But while doing the Formation Tour, we were put in a lot of positions where we had to be technical. We needed to have stretch, we needed to push ourselves beyond our comfort levels. So I started taking ballet classes in the morning just to gain the discipline, posture that the other girls had that I didn’t have. It was just pushing myself beyond my comfort level and stepping out on faith.”
When asked what she learned from this experience, here’s what she had to say:
“Nobody is exempt from being hurt. And that’s the greatest part of life. Knowing that there’s so many levels of growth. God doesn’t give you more than you can bare. And if you can get through your hardest time, you can really get through anything. You can push through and persevere.”