Ex-NFL player turned actor Terry Crews is best known for his fit body, funny antics in television series and major movies and as a family man. But Terry recently opened up about his stint in rehab for pornography addiction in three 'Dirty Little Secret' videos posted on his official Facebook page.
The 47-year-old called porn addiction 'a worldwide problem' in the first video he posted February 11th.
"It really, really messed up my life in a lot of ways," the Brooklyn Nine Nine star confessed.
It all started when he was at the young age of 12, but he never had to face it until his wife, Rebecca, brought it to his attention.
"My wife was literally like, 'I don't know you anymore. I'm out of here,'" Crews recalled.
"And that changed me. I had to change because I realized, yo, this thing is a major, major problem. I literally had to go to rehab for it. The thing that I found, by not telling people, it becomes more powerful, but when you tell, and when you put it out there in the open...it loses it power."
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But the "Are We There Yet" star he didn't seek help just because of wife, it was more reasons than. "I didn't get help to get my wife back. I got help because I needed it. But she did decide to stay with me because she knew I was repenting, she knew I was going to get help, and she knew I was sorry."
In men, there are five primary chemicals involved in sexual arousal and response. The one that likely plays the most significant role in pornography addiction is dopamine. Dopamine plays a major role in the brain system that is responsible for reward-driven learning. Every type of reward that has been studied increases the level of dopamine transmission in the brain, and a variety of addictive drugs, including stimulants such as cocaine, amphetamine, and methamphetamine, act directly on the dopamine system.
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Dopamine surges when a person is exposed to novel stimuli, particularly if it is sexual, or when a stimuli is more arousing than anticipated. Because erotic imagery triggers more dopamine than sex with a familiar partner, exposure to pornography leads to “arousal addiction” and teaches the brain to prefer the image and become less satisfied with real-life sexual partners.
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Crews has now been married for 26 years and has four children - Isaiah, Wynfrey, Tera, and...
...Azriel - and Rebecca also has a daughter Naomi from a previous relationship.
"Some people say, 'Hey, man ... you can't really be addicted to pornography.' But I'm gonna tell you something: If day turns into night and you are still watching [porn], you probably got a problem. And that was me...Now it's become my battle to help other people who are going through the same thing.'
"I felt like my wife owed me sex," Terry continues. "Pornography kills all intimacy."
"Every time I watched it, I was walled off. It was like another brick that came between me and my wife. And the truth is, everything you need for intimacy is in your (partner)."
Adult films have gone from locked Pay-Per-View channels and VHS subscriptions hidden in boxes of closes to 6 second vines scrolling across mobile devices via social media and tube sites. It’s safe to say that the average person is bombarded with some type of sexual imagery or full on sexual content on a daily basis, and according to recent statistics pornography consumption daily is within the multimillions in views. While pornography is considered a healthy form of inspiration, there are some messages within the work that can do more harm than good to one’s personal ideals about sexuality. Society welcomes adult entertainment, but these seven messages often associated from the consumption of pornography should not be embraced.
1. Women are always hot and ready.
Most adult scenes begin with a hot and horny woman who’s ready to get it on. Within two to five minutes of the video she is being penetrated and sex seems to go on forever. Contrary to the sexual portrayals in pornography women are not completely turned on and ready for sex within minutes. In fact, it takes women up to 20 minutes to be completely aroused and ready in her mind and body to have comfortable sex. Yes, women become horny and some women may be ready to go instantly, but on average foreplay is needed for a woman to feel comfortable enough and safe enough to go all the way.
2. Women’s bodies are picture perfect.
The women who are cast for high budget adult films or for publications like Playboy, Hustler, Penthouse or other men’s magazines have bodies that have been altered either by surgery or photoshop or manipulated by light. Even those women who are all natural aren’t representative of the average ladies on the street. Sometimes pornography can warp one’s perception of what real bodies look like and create a sense of disappointment when that ideal isn’t attained. Amateur videos and BBW categories show a realistic range of body types, but the viewer must always remember that each actor is cast with a unique look in mind.
3. Large penises are the standard.
Large penises are standard for filming in the industry because pornography is developed to feed into the male ego, but contrary to what is depicted, the majority of men in the world fall between four to six inches. Many men develop insecurities about their members based on what they see on their computer or phone screens, but there is no need when male adult performers are cast by their size just as women are cast for their looks. Don’t ever place yourself against another in comparison. Everyone is uniquely made and there is someone for everyone no matter what the size.
4. Foreplay is unnecessary.
Sex scenes in today have very little foreplay, and the action that does take place is often short-lived and hurried through. Sex in real space requires direct and engaged play before penetration in order for a woman’s vagina to completely open and welcome its playmate. Foreplay helps lubricate the genitals and release feel-good chemicals necessary for a satisfying sexual experience. Don’t rush through it. Take your time and make sure each partner is on the same level of arousal to encourage reaching a climax at the same time.
5. Rough sex is preferred.
Rough, pelvis-pounding sex is often seen as male partners work their way through scenes where their stamina has to remain consistent until the pop shot. Deep penetration at rapid speeds typically garners high pitched screams begging for more. In reality, sex is greater when the speeds and levels of roughness are varied. Some women’s bodies can’t take the force of rough play, while others demand for it to be hard. Studies have even shown for rough sex to bring on orgasms in some women. Pornography may depict rough sex as the preference, but it’s best to take things slow and check in with your partner during the act to at their desired pace.
6. Women orgasm every time during sex.
The looks of ecstasy that cross the faces of busty starlets bearing it all for the camera appears to be aftermath of back to back orgasms, and the viewer is led to believe that she has an orgasm every time. Unfortunately, most orgasms on-screen are staged. In reality, less than 25% of women actually penetrate regularly from penetrative sex alone, the other 75% must have clitoral stimulation in combination with penetration for an orgasm to occur. Not to mention she has to feel completely safe, be comfortable in her body and present in the moment and not somewhere else in her mind. The female orgasm is a bit more complex than a male orgasm, and it requires safety and foreplay to be unleashed. Take your time and do it right.
If your porn viewing has become compulsive and is interfering with how you feel about yourself and/or your ability to function, you need to admit that you have a problem. That is the first and most important step.
Irrespective of whether the psychiatric community considers porn a true addiction, it is important that you treat it as such. Dismissing it as "less of a problem" than other forms of addiction may only allow you to take it less seriously.
Rather than dealing with it on your own and going "cold turkey," make every effort to find a professional experienced in treating sexual dysfunction. The American Society of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (ASSECT) offer an online locator to find qualified therapists in your state. The editors of Psychology Today operate a similar locator, allowing you to search by city, zip code, or name.
In the end, you need to find a psychologist able to employ the most effective treatment methods, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), so that you can begin to develop effective relapse prevention skills.2 While it may be uncomfortable exposing truths about your behaviors and thoughts, doing so can ensure the most effective and durable results.
It is only by bringing your addiction into the light that you can answer some bigger questions about yourself and find resolutions to make you happier and your life more stable and productive.
It is only by bringing your addiction into the light that you can answer some bigger questions about yourself and find resolutions to make you happier and your life more stable and productive.
