When you hear India.Arie's music or even mention her, you're usually reminded of the beautiful images she portrays, the uplifting music she sings and the overall positive message she brings. So it's hard to imagine someone like her having a bad day, let alone a bad year that almost made her quit music...for good.
“I didn’t know if I was going to make music anymore,” says a recently missing-in-action India.Arie. After selling more than 10 million albums worldwide, scoring 21 Grammy nominations, and winning four, India Arie Simpson just completely stopped doing the one thing she loved most: music.
Four years later, she returned with her long-awaited fifth studio album, SongVersation, and the “Brown Skin” and “I Am Not My Hair” singer says that, for the first time, she completely controls the when, where and how her career is written. But the road to get here was hard.
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Describing 2009 as “just the worst year I could imagine,” India describes a series of physical setbacks, a broken engagement and a cross-country tour left her exhausted — and at a spiritual crossroads, she recently explained what led her
The "I Am Not My Hair" singer says that her deep internal struggle took a serious toll on her physically and emotionally. “One of my oldest friends, he calls me ‘sunshine.’ It was a joke because I was so moody,” India.Arie says. “[But] it just looked like I was moody.”
In reality, India.Arie says something much more serious was going on. “I didn’t have a foundation of well-being. I didn’t like my ‘default setting.’ I just didn’t feel good all the time,” she explains. “I felt like I was always recovering from some sort of battle… I was in a constant state of recovery.”
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“I was at rock bottom career-wise and health-wise," explains India. "I was working so hard and getting very little in return. I didn’t know if I was going to make music anymore. I didn’t know anything. I just knew that I wanted to have a life that felt good.”
By applying some of the lessons of self-love and self-acceptance found in much of her own music, India turned that...
...difficult corner of her life. “I really took the time to look at myself and look at my life and decide who I want to be, and not what anyone else wants,” she explains. “I learned who I am and understand that I am responsible for myself and for my life.”
This new perspective has made aspects of the music business she once loathed—long hours in the studio, doing press interviews— a lot more pleasurable. She’s even putting out fires, like claims that her image was purposely lightened for the cover art of the album’s first single “Cocoa Butter.”
“Some people were really getting crazy and just being disrespectful and I wanted to snap back [but] I didn’t,” she admits. “If it were true, and it’s not, it would have been a huge betrayal because of my reputation and what I’m about,” she says. “The black community has a certain ownership of me, and it’s beautiful and I’m proud of that.”
Since her near-exit out the game, she’s come to cherish her unique role even more.
“You know, I was in my early twenties when I came out. I was a kid. Now I’m an adult, I’m a woman. I’m even more committed and more clear about what my message is, and more empowered to carry that message further.”
Coming full circle, India insists “I don’t sing because I’ve got all the answers and I’ve got it all figured out. I sing because I’m on that journey too, to be the best person I can be. Whoever it resonates with, I’m happy. I know that it’s not for some people, and I’m okay with that, too.”
This time around, she’s making time for self and is expanding her company, SoulBird.
“These past 10 years, I’ve never had any time for other things that I love to do, such as jewelry and clothes. And maybe [I will make time for] a relationship,” she sneaks in. “I can’t see it, but I feel something. I needed time to heal, and now I’m ready.”
