A good report card is not the only concern for parents of school-aged children. Today, news headlines with heartbreaking reports of adolescent suicides are on the rise. Many children who commit the act are the victims of bullying.
Parents do their best to prevent their children from becoming a target for the bully sitting next to them on the school bus or in the classroom. However, parents rarely consider the possibility of their child being the bully.
Knowing these 5 signs will help reveal if your child may be another child’s nightmare.
1. Aggressive Behavior
If your child demonstrates verbal or physical aggression towards you or his or her siblings, it’s likely that they do the same with their teachers and peers. Children who are disciplined by their parents in a harsh or borderline abusive manner are more likely to become bullies who punish their victims in the same way.
Defiance of rules and authority is another expression of aggressive behavior that is often seen in bullies.
If your child witnesses abuse at home, they are more likely to become a bully. Exposure to violence in video games, movies or social media may be contributing factors as well.
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2. Blames Others For Bad Behavior
“If she wasn’t so ugly, I wouldn’t have to punch her,” is something a bully might say in defense of themselves. Bullies often don’t hold themselves accountable for their poor behavior. It’s always someone else’s fault for why they react the way that they do. Holding your child accountable for their behaviors at home can help prevent this from happening.
3. Low Self-esteem
Underneath it all, bullies usually don’t like themselves. They often have a negative attitude towards their life and the people in it. Academically, bullies tend to struggle so they resort to being disruptive in class. Boys who bully may use their physical strength to intimidate others to cover their sense of inferiority in the classroom. Girls who bully are usually popular and will shame other girls to feel better about themselves.
Take action to ensure that your child has the resources they need to be successful academically and emotionally. Engage your child in activities that will help to build character and self-esteem.
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4. Lack of Parental Involvement
No matter the age, all kids want positive time and attention from their parents. If you’re struggling to make time for your children, they may be taking it out on other kids through bullying. Showing concern for your child’s feelings and being active in their lives makes it less likely that your child will become a bully.
Often, bullies come from single-parent homes where it may be difficult for the parent to divide their time.
If you have no interest in becoming involved with your children, you are giving them the tools they need to become a bully. Visit your child’s school, go to their games, and take an active role in their lives.
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5. “Friendship” Parenting
If your child doesn’t have to respect the adults at home, they most definitely won’t respect the children or adults at school. Children with parents who are more friends than they are parents usually become bullies.
If you don’t set rules or boundaries for your child at home, it will be difficult for them to follow school rules. Your child may try to control others and may become abusive when they don’t get their way. Establishing boundaries and healthy discipline is important for your child’s emotional growth and development.
Bullying is a serious problem that needs the attention of all schools, parents, and students. Talk to your child about what it means to be a bully and why it’s important that they don’t participate in anything that involves bullying. Encourage them to take a stand against bullying by reporting it and being a friend to someone who is a victim. If your child shows any of these signs, consulting with a behavioral health professional may help.
Dr. Candace McMillon-Dantley is the health-empowering creator of The Doc Knows and she’s on a mission to motivate you to a life of health. She has a Doctorate in Chiropractic Medicine and a Bachelor of Science in Biomedical Sciences. When she’s not health writing, she is health motivating and educating during her interactive presentations on healthy nutrition, self-care and conditions of the body. Her experiences as a business owner, chiropractor, wife and mom of two resonate and relate with her audiences. Connect with Dr. Candace on Instagram @drcandace.